The Unofficial HooToo ReView - What I Thought of Thor
Created | Updated Jun 26, 2011
I know, I know. Thor has already been reviewed, expertly, by Awix.
You can read his insightful comments here.
But if Bel keeps going on holiday, you get drivel. She's not here to stop me.
What I Thought of Thor, or, Old Norse Was Sort of Like This
Okay, admittedly, my first glimpse of the Marvel Universe did not make me think of comic books, which I loathe (except for Anarchy Gordon). It made me think of my Old Norse professor. Professor Dr (probably by now Dr Dr, with an h.c. thrown in for good measure) U-With-An-Umlaut. Particularly, what he replied to my first, halting attempts to read the Landnámabók.
Me: Flóki Vílgerðarson hét maðr; hann var víkingr mikill1.
Prof Dr U-With-An-Umlaut: NEIN! You must read it like a VIKING. FLÓki VÍLgerðarson HÉT MAðr; HANN VAR VIKingr MIKill!
Well, that was me told.
The Vikings in Thor were like that – full of dry humour (very Viking-like), as well as bluster, loudness, and a general tendency to go for the nuclear option. Personally, I think a Viking would have enjoyed Thor. He might have wanted more eating scenes, though. Vikings liked to eat and drink. But on the whole, I think they would have enjoyed the action, and appreciated all the moral insights.
The moral insights of Marvel comics appear to be about on the level of literature from 1000 years ago. What this tells us about modern humanity, I'd rather not say.
The film was very pretty, if you're a dyed-in-the-wool fan of MMOs – Massive Multiuser Online role-playing games. I am not. Having been employed by them, and thus having spent about three years staring at imaginatively invented landscapes and interiors which astound, but lack such amenities as chairs one can actually sit in, I was too jaded to appreciate most of the art team's handiwork.
Asgard was amazing, though. I suspect Vikings would enjoy living in a palace shaped like a gigantic pipe organ. It would go with all the bellowing.
Elektra and I opted to see Thor in 2D, as I refused to pay extra to have hammers thrown at my head. Besides, I'd heard it made some people seasick. We didn't go because of Stan Lee – we didn't even stay for the previews with Mr Jackson. We went because of Kenneth Branagh, the director. Yeah, yeah, I know he made that Frankenstein nobody liked but me and Mark Kermode. Yeah, yeah, I know the Guardian hates him. They made that clear in their scathing review of what sounded like a completely different film. I think I can guess why Mr Branagh made the film. It was probably fun to play with all the toys. More power to him. We owe him one for The Magic Flute, which was just plain beautiful.
What Branagh brought to the film was a sense of humour usually lacking in these comic-book thingies. The Norse god of thunder falls to Earth? Taser him, why don't you? He needs to travel fifty miles? He goes into a pet store: 'I need a horse.' The bad guy's henchman, armed with a high-tech bow: 'Do you want me to slow him down? Or would you rather send some more guys in for him to knock out?'
I can hear old Flóki Vílgerðarson laughing his head off, up in Valhalla. Not too subtle, as wit goes, but hey – what do you want, Shakespeare?
Keep 'em coming, folks. At this rate, if archaeologists ever dig up any quick-frozen Norsemen, they'll have something to watch on TV.
