h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

is there any way for you to check and see if the wmds are remotely linked, and if they can be triggered from the bridge? 'cos if they can, i think we're going to have to find some way of taking 'em offline before we hit the bridge.

what are "wmds"?

we can set up a white noise jammer and storm the bridge as soon as we activate it, but we would have to be careful to get into the bridge immediately so they can't alert others (the ones that weren't knocked out)

wmd - weapons of mass destruction. kaBOOOMm.

I love them! Are they nukes, radiological, biological or chemical?

" I love them! Are they nukes, radiological, biological or chemical?"

All

OK, Q take the engine room, Dr. Bloodlust investigate possible remote links, Nobody create a white noise distraction. I'll try and find the captain.

*Heads off to the capatin's cabin.*

Mission log 003/09/03
Have assigned various agents to take the control room, investigate remote links to WMDs, and create a white noise distraction. am currently searching for the captain. I'm getting good at this. End entry.

Aye sir

*heads off to the engine room, steps over unconcious people, and gets to the engine room door. Fortunately its unlocked, so he just slinks in stealthily. He drops the closest engineer with a pistol wip, then drags the unconsious man to a nearby locker where he binds him with duct tape and leaves him in. Q then slinks off to find the other engineers*

black manta, requesting permission to seize or destroy biological weapons. i'm sure our lab boys would have fun with them if i manage to get some home.



i'm pretty sure i know where some, if not all, the wmd's are located. and it would seem that they have a fermenter in there - which spells trouble! i'm going there to investigate the links - if there are any, i'm going to have to take care of them right there. only thing is, because it's not connected to central ventilation, whoever's in there isn't going to be sleeping...







sorry, but i had to kill 'em. couldn't risk chloroform - they'd have smelt it immediately and gone for the controls. i don't know how far the gas spread when i opened the door, so whatever you do - don't take off your masks! i'll see if there's a negative pressure filter in there - it'll help with the gas a bit.





it would seem that they have soman and mustard gas (!!) and a number of newly-developed deadly nerve gases here, as well as a fermenter load of bacterial spores! i'm guessing anthrax, but it could be something else equally deadly. they're all linked to separate remote detonators, presumably in the hands of the leaders. i'll slice into their systems and take them offline, and see if i can find an autoclave unit to get rid of the spores because these are probably what they'll set off on us once they notice our presence. there's only two nukes in here, both with outdated systems; however, records indicate that there are at least three more highly sophisticated warheads, so i'm guessing they've got to be someplace closer to the tubes.

q, blunder, have either of you got a hand to spare? i think this is a job for a demolitions or gadgetry expert. i can *safe* the two up here, but i'm not sure i have the expertise to handle the others. there's central ventilation on that deck, so you could always knock out the personnel with gas.

*Q slips into the missile room via an air duct and shoots the gaurd in the neck with a silenced Walther PPK (7.65 milimeter) which prevented him from screaming as he fell. Q imediately sets to work unscrewing the bolts from the warheads' housing and yanking the sheet steal off to reveal the deadly complexity of the missile warheads. After first disabling the two nukes by removing the plutonium cores and placing them in a leadlined box he sets to work on the chemical and bioligical weapons*

can I just say well done on the mission, its going great guys
I can also give you a hand if you need it. There are probably some other weapons on the other ships...

~Skenvoy

*after removing the guidence ships from the chemical missiles and cutting the detonation circuits to the war heads Q welds the holding clamps down so that they cannot be removed. Q then goes to work on the biolgical missiles*

Bloddlust, Q, good going, keep as you are, but if you get a chance, try and find where and/or who the leaders are. Sken, any info you can get would be greatly appreciated.

*Climbs into a ventilation shaft and up onto a region of the upper decks. Sees the captain in his cabin, apparently getting a phone message from his superiors.*
Yes... no... I don't understand, there was no alarm given off... very well... #hangs up and resches for security alarm button.#

*Drops down and puts one hand over button, other on captain's face.*

Don't try anything. Move and you'll regret it. Understand? Good. Now, write down on this sheet of paper exactly who you work for, what their master plan is, all your usernames and passwords, and any other info you think I might be able to use... Yeah, that's right.

Everything all right in there, captain?
*Nods head, removes hand.*
Uh, yeah, everything's fine. No need to look in on me.
*Folds up paper and puts it in pocket, then chloroforms the captain and takes his master keycard. Gets back into ventialtion chamber and crawls away, leaving the guards none the wiser.*

*still guarding the entry point*

I wonder how the others are getting on

the nukes were definately soviet, the chem was all mustard gas that must have been smuggled out of Germany after World War One and the biological looks vaugly like Iranian work, but it could be Iraqi, my Arabic isn't what it used to be. you have anything on who these guys work for? or where an autoclave might be, I don't want to risk droping these things into a rift vally or anything else, I want to be sure these things are destoryed

*starts to carefully set the biological dispersment modules into a well insulated and protected crate*

.....



this could take some time...

well, we're done with the weapons. what now?

Nice work. See about taking a few officers hostage, but don't let yourself get detected. Also, see about any info you may come across.

*Crawls along the ceiling to a master data storage room. Knocks out the gurards and uses the captain's master keycard to enter. Goes to the main console and logs on. Hack it.*

Mission log 003/14/04. Holy $h1t! Looks like Mr. M has more going on than we expected. He seems to be using a secret space station to guild some sort of orbitin ion cannon, and with one of those he could hold the world to ransom. Downloading schematics... Got 'em. Now, let's see who Mr. M really is... Damn! The files are locked. I'll have to hack this remotely from HQ. End log.

*Deactivates the alarm system. Leaves the data room and returns to the air duct systemm.*

the command crew seems like the best bet for crew with any important knowledge

*yanks the grill off of a nearby air vent and crawls in. After several meters of winding air duct, HDS looks at his Q watch and notes that he is in possition*

put on your gas masks for the next couple of minutes, or you might get sick to your stomach

*HDS uses the laser on his watch to cut a small hole in the duct wall and inserts a morphozene gas dispenser. HDS tapes the sides off with a roll of duct tape, dons his gas mask, and activates the dispencer. After a couple of seconds the green light on the back turns red, indicating it is empty. HDS yanks it out, pulls the tape off, and makes the hole bigger so he can crawl through to the command deck ventilator system.*

everyone alright?

*HDS kicks out the grate underneath the comm station in the conning tower and enters the bridge thus. HDS looks around and sees the crew, commander, and captain slumped over their duty stations. HDS quickly tapes them up and covers their mouths too, so that they cannot move or speak*

I'v got the command crew come and interegate them at your lesure

*HDS enters the security shutdown code from a nearby code book and opens the doors to the conning tower, takes a reading on the air, and decides to keep his mask on till the morph gas is fully dispersed (HDS doesn't like the queezy feeling it gives him)*

i'm pretty much done here as well, i'll join you guys at the bridge. er, black manta... what's become of the rest of our cell, and that second ship?

there's a second ship?

*cautiously makes his way up to the bridge*