h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*tosses in a mirror*

*a feather blowing in the wind triggers a sensor*

* toys with a passing field mouse which is inexplicably wandering between warehouses*

*at that moment finishes disabling the explosives that the sensors are connected to*

~Skenvoy

*there is a small bleep and a timer starts a raped countdown on the explosives*
5
4
3
2

*shoots the timer*
*it stops... the bomb doesn't detonate*
I love it when people have reinforced timers

~Skenvoy

*the second timer bleeps twice then the aria atarts to heat up*
not reenforsed...
but i put in a secondery plan
*the fire doors all lock shut and the sprinkelers fail to make water rain down and infact spray acid over the aria*

*shakes his head in disbelief at primative defense set ups*
*walks calmly through acid*
man I'm glad Tubaman made these gadgets before he left

~Skenvoy

*Comes through the skylight, crawls across the ceiling, and flips the general defences switch to 'Off.' Drops to the floor, picks up a convenient crowbar, and opens a random crate.*

*a chicken runs out of the crate*

AHHHH A CMD - Chicken of Mass Destruction

~Skenvoy

*Throws a dart at the chicken and kills it. The crate contains coffee, but Hussassan digs underneath it and finds a circuit baord.*

Hmm, this board is used in orbiting ion cannons. We oughta take this back to HQ.

*the chicken pecks at the ground and lays an egg*

*Cuts off the chickens head and puts the egg in a mini cryogenics tube for analysis.*

*the egge hatches a rapidly growing chick*



*someone remotly activates the "major defense that prevent people leaving"*

(these defences can not be turned off on site)

s.

*the chick brakes free of the tube as in matures into a chicken lays several eggs and presses the "self destruct" botton on the floor

there is a grunt waiting to be interogeted

*the eggs all hatch and the chicks all atart to rapedly grow and lay more eggs*

*the floor is covered in a minute ... and the ;level of chickens begins to rise*