h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Enters the room and begins to unpack*
Nice room, needs more no-smoking signs though.

*knock, knock*

You wanted no-smoking signs, Cap'n? The easiest way to get them is simply to have them That is, due to the wonderful virtuality interface, they will automagically appear as soon as you describe them being there...

Oh, no probs I always bring my own no-smoking signs!
*Sets up a large variety of no-smoking signs in the room, along with numerous signs reading; Arnie does it best, I owe it all to Rimmer, etc.
When is breakfast served?

Yes

That is, if you want breakfast served by somebody - the best answer in all truthfullness is "now and then"

But we do offer this area's most polite self service The bar will cater for all your needs...

(maybe I should try to persuade the well-known bartender Menza to bar-keep now & then?)

Maybe you should!

*Wakes up, looks at the time, wonders how he managed to see time, notices time looks boring and looks at the clockradio at the nightable, notices he should have gone to work an hour ago and runs out of the door after dressing in an amazing short time*

*checks on room, replenishes bar, corrects alarm clock to an appropriate Earthly time zone*

*Re-enters room and resets the larm clock to his own personal time-zone*