h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At 7:00am, one of the club groundsstaff was testing the grass on the Patrick Rafter Centre Court, and to their dismay, discovered that the soil had been changed to a clay type!

Although the Club houses a selection of excellent clay courts, it appears that someone stole into the Club between 4:00am and 6:30am, sliced off the grass surface, placed a layer of clay soil underneath and replaced the grass!

Many of the players, especially the grass-court specialists, are horrified at this act and find it difficult to believe and play on. We need your help to find out who could have done this, and finally restore our grass courts to their original state.

That means that the bounces low and fast, and not high and slow I am quite annoyed.

Caper Plip

*Examines the court with a magnifying glass*

hmmm, whoever it is seems to have covered their tracks pretty well.

*Goes off in search of other clues*

The authorities will let me release some clues tomorrow, they tell me.

Have you popped into the Banquetting Hall? I believe Swiv is brewing up some cocktails for everyone (especially a certain Xavier Malisse).

Are you sure the grass has been replaced by clay? Perhaps this is just the initial preparation for a new inter-galactic highway

Positively certain.

Would you like some ? Most of the Management (well, the three of us) have taken time off from the mystery to have a party instead here:

F93677?thread=194461

I will put some clues for detectives to think about at some point...

One of the groundsmen was out walking his border collie (as you do) in the early morning. He doesn't know what time, but imagines it to be around 5:30am as he left home at around 5:15am.

He says that he walked past the Clay Pigeon Court and could see the silhouette of someone at least 6ft tall striding around. He also says that he could hear someone humming 'La Cucharacha', but cannot discern its location...

*promptly books flight to Spain*

This could turn out to be a very interesting mystery indeed...

Well, I packed my flamenco dress
(or is that national stereotyping?)

*goes on to unpack magnifying glass, notebook and camera*

I don't think it'd be stereotyping Just carry on with what your doing...

*isn't really sure what she's doing*

puts on frock so as not to look too conspicous in hunting gear

CCTV shows that the main door to the New Balls Barracks was closed at 5:00am, but there was a glitch in the circuit from 5:25am to 5:45am. At 5:45am the door was closed, but it was slightly ajar.

In the morning, several of the players had contracted a little cold, which could only have been caused by an open window or the door being opened, having been a chilly night. There was also a strange orange dust near Marat Safin's barracks...

*marches into barracks and clicks castanets*

All right, own up please - who was out on the tennis courts at 5:30 this morning? own up - or I'll cut your practise for Wimbledon next year.

Strange way of going about it... would you like another clue?

well, I didn't have a better plan - and I rather liked the idea of invading the barracks...

So I gather that the players stay overnight in the barracks. Perhaps there's many a vegetarian among them, and, making use of the early morning dew hours, they have eaten all the grass and left the underlying clay layer behind?

actually - maybe one of them's turned rancher

*puts ear to ground to try and hear lowing*

...right... But that's not the answer

Perhaps I'll stick in an account from one of the players as the third clue...

you do that

Xavier Malisse says that he was woken by someone humming 'La Cucharacha' in the barracks next to his. He knew it wasn't a Spaniard as no Spaniard in their right mind would hum that, but he couldn't remember who it was.

He knows definitely that Marat Safin and Jan-Michael Gambill were going out for an early practice session, but he saw the figure of a woman go down the corridor past the New Balls Barracks. He guessed that she was just under 6 feet tall, and by the way she was holding her racquet was right-handed with a doubled-handed backhand. He's not sure though...

(Hint: You may need to do some research for this)