h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The bleak lands of Naggaroth can be seen from the rocking vessel. It is an icy cold land, reflecting well the cold cruelty of the people who live there. N'kai stands, fully armoured, on the deck of the ship, staring out to Har Ganeth, known as the Cursed Place by the slaves taken there. N'kai smiles grimly. It won't only be the Slaves that suffer tonight...*

*the air next too n'kai swirls a deep blue and when it clears a maiden, but not a normal maiden, a light blue tinge and auburn hair compliments and a bow and arrow and a sword lay in her grasp, her cloak, a deep green, swirls around and her eyes appear on fire*
So n'kai whats up?

[N'kai] I was hoping you'd show up. I'm off recruiting, but I need a way into Naggaroth. Har Ganeth is the primary Slave Port of this land. If I offer them someone of value, I can get in and out with minimum fuss.
*N'kai turns to Phoniex, a feral glint in his eyes.*
[N'kai] But first, we need a slave.

why do we need a slave I dont understand

[N'kai] You don't need to. Just leave the thinking to me...
*The Ship's captain walks up on deck. He is looking out to Har Ganeth, looking worried.*
[Captain] N'kai, we won't make it before dark. You know too well what lurks in the mountains above the city...
[N'kai] Indeed. The Gargoyles need feeding...
*One of N'kai's men smacks thew Captain on the head with the hilt of his sword.*
[N'kai] Thankyou, he'll feed those Harpies quite nicely.

I am not dumb maiden you know, must be sooo crude all the time?

[N'kai] Crude? What is so crude about me?
*Ignores the sound of Harpies shredding the Captain, and the blood trickling down like rain upon the deck.*

*a figure in green crystal armor walks in*

Do you require another hired sword? if so i will come.

[N'kai] Ah... another traveller. Welcome.

Chronos this is N'kai and N'kai this is Chronos Chronos ignore N'kai when he's in a bad mood so ignore him all the time well except if he's fighting

[N'kai] I'd pay attention to me now if I were you! Without me, you'll be locked in some filthy cell praying for death. Unless you get lucky, in which case they'll sacrifice you straight away.

*N'kai watched the ship pull in. There was much action on the dock. Phoniex and Chronos watched as a starved human was dragged from a group of slaves on the deck, and had his throat slit. The blow was crude, and barely even severed the man's neck, and he took several minutes to die. The others didn't respond. They were starved, covered in filth and excrement, and many were so desease ridden they probably wouldn't live past a week. And those were the ones that had only just arrived...*
[N'kai] If you two don't want to join them, then so exactly as I say. Don't speak to any of the Beastmasters, or those Witch Elves. They'll show you pleasure beyond your wildest dreams, before showing you true agony... We're looking for a man named Malkein the Red, I'll give you soem of my men as bodyguards. No-one here would dare attack them, for fear of my wrath...

gods, i hope i dont need the body guards, n'kai shall i dull my skin blue is a bit revealing. I suppose i wouldnt be taken seriously being female and i look like a nobel women shall i disguise myself as male?

[N'kai] Ha! Don't worry about your gender. You can disguise yourself as a sorceress. Only women may practise Magic in this land, by order of Malekith...
*The way N'kai says the name makes it clear he despises the man.*
[N'kai] Still, this will help...
*Black bursts of magic envelop Phoniex. When they disperse, her skin has turned Alabaster, her hair jet black. Her clothes have turned into a mixture of black and purple silk, which barely conceal the flesh beneath.*
[N'kai] Excellent. You'll pass well for a Sorceress. As for you, Chronos... Someone give him a spare suit of armour. He'd look good as one of my men.

good a blue tinged sorceress is a bit hard to explain, do i need a cover story?

[N'kai] You're with me. If that doesn't work, try threatening to turn them over to the temple of Khaine...

Why? What's so special about the temple?

[N'kai] Khaine is the god of Murder, and the Witch Elves are his servants. No man, bar the Assassins, who enters that place comes out alive. The women aren't very safe either...

*puts on the spare armor*
i miss my crystal suit already, it was fitted for me. but i Am keeping my sword.
*wraps six foot long crystal sword in some leather*

Lovely dont they have any nice Gods here?

[N'kai] Only Khaine, and that's one to many...