h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I know my own mind - it'll take more than a group of attractive females with sponges to brainwash me.

Depends what they're doing to/with the sponges.

Yes.

Many of the more disreputable internet sites are devoted to that or so I've heard of course only in passing wasn't really interested.

Of course. You wouldn't have remembered any of the URLs of those kinds of sites? Just for research purposes, you understand.

Well, I must have some sort of mental condition, 'cos I just couldn't forget them. But I can't write them here. That might shock and offend people.

But, y'know, if, only for research purposes of course I couldn't imagine what anyone would want them for otherwise, you want them they could probably be emailed.

Maybe, in the interests of taste and decency, you should just scribble them down on a piece of paper and pop it in here.
*hands Roadkill a plain brown paper bag*

*returns with a large pail of warm sopy water and a dishcloth*

Right then...which of you is first????

* by with a bottle of "Flash" (cleans without scratching)*

Me first.

OK then...

*rolls up sleeves and unscrews the top of EV's scull*

Hmm....the bolts may need tightening...your head is awfully wobbly..

*Looks at the wobbling and nods in agreement* Want a spanner?

Thanks...I've one stashed in me handbag...it's by the door *nods towards the carpetbag that's blocking the fire exit*

Yeuch! It's filthy in here...

*scoops out a handfu of sludge and chucks it in he general direction of the sink*

Eeeeeyeeuuuuch! *puts bottle of Flash on the surface next to the sink, and gets rubber gloves out of labcoat pocket, and looks round for a mop * looks like this could be big job... Just as well you came prepared! I should've brought my bag...

*stares blankly at nothing at all*

*Writes a couple of URLs on paper bag. The bag spontaneously combusts due to the content. Chips it into a handy bit of marble. Hands it back to Vibenstein.*

That should provide you with enough raw info for your research. What are you doing research on anyway?

*cannot reply until Zantic and Zhora finish cleaning out his head*

But if you've been brainwashed, you won't know what you're doing researchn on, will you? Looks like you're just gonna have to spend more time at these sites to try and jog your memory.

*continues to haul handfuls of greasy, sticky goo from EV's cranium. The sink is getting amazingly full considering the small size of the human brain-box.....
Finally, when there is little but a trace of the goo remaining, a full bottle of top strength flash is poured on a cloth, which is then used to scrub out the offending filth. After a couple of rinses and the full wax polish, the is deemed satisfied with the result*

Hmm...now, just to find his brain amoungst the goo.

*wanders over to the sink and starts prodding the congeled green gunk*

This could take a while...

*replaces the top of EV's skull in hopes that he can function normally until such time as his brain can be returned....*