h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Sidles back to back with Venom*

Thanks for the backup! We have to stop the Borg, before they take h2g2 completly, and introduce boy bands and name-brandclothing!

Nooooooooooo! Not boy bands!!!!!
"I joined the giant collective brain, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

*one of the drones sets up a transmitter, and Mystrunners nanoprobe-thong-dance is looped from the collective throughout the entire office*

*most of the attacks are eventually adjusted to by the borg, but the Sword of Fury is unlike anything they have seen. Several drones approach Red, very timidly*

*24 moves towards shroom again, as his hand is replaced*

What I was referring to, my dear shroom... is the Grail. I could help you find it...if you join me.

*Makes his way over to an assimilated computer termanal and begins to install a program*

*blinks*

The grail? Well...no, no thanks. I think I'll find it by myself, thanks

*opens cupboard*

*exchanges lightsabre for an old battered brown hat, a pistol and a whip*

*The borg collective stops for a moment as Windows NT installs. Suddenly, everything goes berzerk as commands are relayed incorrectly, as drones power down and lock up due to performing simple tasks like existing, and others begin to smoke and explode. Far away, a borg cube begins to dance the macarana, with more or less decent sucess*

*Doges bits of flying metal*

I didn't want to use Windows products. Bill Gates will probably find out...*shivers*

Quick- now's our chance!

Erm...so what do I do?

De-assimilate Apollo! He's the leader*

De-assimilate Apollo! He's the leader!

Oh..right...

*opens cupboard*

*hand bumps into something while she's rummaging*

Oh...? What's this?

*scoops out some cream from a pot and finds she can't see her fingers*

Aha!

*covers herself in cream, vanishing from sight*

*disembodied voice*Cool!

*rummages again*

*everything goes silent*

*voice by 24 of 42's ear* Stay still, this won't hurt a bit...

*a needle appears and is stuck into 24 of 42's arm before it can move*

*still reeling from the windows NT, orders are quickly given to assimilate Bill Gates*

*feels a prick in his arm, sees an Indiana-Jones hat floating around of its own free will Quickly grabs Shroom and twists behind her before she can react, holding her securely in place, while the effects of the needle kick in*

*to everyone* Do not move and put all Swords of Fury down, or your little friend gets it!

*in Shroom's ear* You will never find the Grail on your own, dear girl...you see, it has already been found...

*pushes a button on his arm*

*A large wolf bounds into the forum and lunges at 24 of 42. The momentum is enough to knock over a small car.*

Ooh dear..

*hopes BBW doesn't hit her*

*Fred rushes forward and casts a paralysis spell on Apollo, he then goes back to hacking at the flying monkeys with a broad sword.* I hope the Borg are planning to pay for these monkeys

*Luckily, the button he pushed was a transport signal. He and Shroom are transported away, just in time for the paralysis spell to head directly at the wolf*

*One of the monkeys, before being decapitated by the knights, croons*
If you ever want to see your precious shroom again, you will surrender this office to the borg, and give yourselves to the collective.

Shroom was taken to the hive: F84221?thread=187208

Come! We must follow! For Honour!

*Steps through a tear in space-time*

*Chubby rides into the office on a Shetland Pony, and promptly falls off.*

What? Everyone's gone. And I bought potato salad!

Chubby, if you've ever had any sort of combat experience, help us save our beloved Sarge!

*Townsaver's saw like whine slowly subsides as the threat withdraws from Mystrunners office*

*Red reveals himself as the Carnelian Knight A761951 to his Fellows*

Greetings Brothers.

*The wolf sails through the air, gets hit by the paralysis ray and lands heavily on the floor, sliding until his face is in the potato salad.

He lies there, paralysed.

He changes to human form, paralysed, then back to wolf form again, still paralysed, but with a little potato salad in his mouth. His eyes twinkle.

Human, wolf, human, wolf, human, wolf, human, wolf...