h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

TB! What have I told you about drinking the last glass of orange juice?

"Daddy's flown across the ocean"?

*Finds sharp implement*

Exactly! Now go find three radishes and a midget for dinner!

Actually I'd rather stab TB.

*Does so*

Now I'm going away, possibly to hide, possibly to a shower.

TB! You're spilling blood all over the midget! What did mommy Claw tell you about that?

That's not blood, it's cranberry vodka

Meh.

You honestly think I'd waste valuable body space on blood when I could use it to store alcohol?

Hem hem.

*realises his alcohol is leaking out where VA stabbed him*

AAAAAAAAAAaaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! My alcohol, my precious, precious alcohol!!!!

*sticks a cork in the hole to stem the flow*

Right I think this calls for the Axe Wielding Neurosurgeon(TM)(C)(R)(etc.)

*Gets his fire axe out*

Right VA just hold still, you should only notics a dull thud...before I splatter your brains all over the floor</>

I think she took off after igniting that pile of napalm strapped to your axe.

That's not a pile you foolish monkey, it's a canister with a small explosive charge attached... Here, hold this

*throws his axe to EC and hides behind a blast shield*

*sells the axe to the weapons store and purchases weapon "cat claws"*

What did you do that for? They'll have only paid you half it's retail value! You could have sold it privately for much more

Well I told them it was a bomb axe and they gave me half of that retail.

Yeah, anjd I bet you got shafted over the price of the "cat claws" didn't you? I bet you didn't even have enough money to buy some armour and a few spells did you? You're gonna have to equip it and got kill some forrest imps to get more money.

Pfft. I can only wear robes anyway. Armor chafes me if you catch my drift.

wait...you're White Mage?

Oh no. But I'm a hard fit for armor.