h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Pulls another bottle of Bikers Best out of a bottomless pocket and throws it to Ralph*

Ah....Russian...box...Russian...vodka...

erm...Gwennie dear, I'm sure you won't be needing those knuckledusters...I'm more interested in beer, honest...
*sidles closer to the bush, edging around Gwennie*

Interesting thing about vodka and beer - In Australia, a beer/vodka mix has just come on the market...it's hilarious...
It's about 6% alcohol, so even if it's weak full-strength beer that it's mixed with, that means about 1.5% alcoholic content accounted for by vodka - if we say 50% alcohol in vodka (just to be generous, and for ease of calculation), then that means that of the contents of the bottle, just 3% is vodka...of 375ml, that makes 11.25mls of vodka. What a joke!!!!! Some beer company marketing guy has gone "Hey man, all the kids are drinking vodka mixes...vodka goes with everything...and we're, like, losing out on the youth market, oh no, bummer...but wait! Let's just put some potato-flavoured ethanol into our beer, call it a vodka/beer mix, and we'll make a fortune!!!" Even funnier, it's actually selling!!!

*Gurmbles to himself* Just my luck, they're argueing over vodka & I'm carrying supplies for the "ladies room"! Oh well, the next box looked like it had food in it.

What's that smoke from out back? Is someone burning something?

*sniff, sniff*



WR - be a dear and check that out, will you?

- and guess what?

Happy Birthday, Ralph!

Happy Birthday from me too Ralph!

Best wishes

*returns bearing burnt remains of Gwennie's banana skin*
Behold - the culprit!
*disposes of offensive carbonised fruit wrapper in bin*
HavahappiburfdayRalph!

*Sidles towards the vodka*

Are you allowed to sidle with your shirt off?

Yep

good thing this is VR or I'd embarass everybody with my shirt off!

WR! You've found my 'nana skin! I wondered where I'd left it...

*Manages to liberate a couple of bottles of vodka and hide them in her bag*

Do you mean that crate of Vodka over there Kristina?

*Shoves Bob and BadZen through the bush who expose the crate of vodka as they land*

There's another box for you to carry here Ralph! Oh and a belated happy birthday dear boy...

*Wonders what could be so wrong with Ralph that his naked chest would be so horrifying*

P'haps he's a Godfrey?



God free hairs on 'is chest??

...and knots them together too?

Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone, though at my age I'd just as soon forget about them entirely. The age has something to do with the shirt off business too. The problem isn't my chest, it's slightly south of there. I jokeingly refer to my waist line as my 'hope chest', 'cause I keep hoping it'll go back up and become chest!

I'm a happy camper again! My bike is back on the road. Just got it back today & have already put over 100 miles on it. Yay!

Point me to this box you need carried next. On second thought, maybe you'd better let Kristina direct me.

* Te large blue cloud of screeching tyre-smoke, which has been steadily growing from the horizon, resolves itself into a big Blue two wheeled darling and it's iterant rider *

G'ay all. Whass'up?

oops itinerant aka missing-in-action; wandering etc. sorry

*Emerges from the bushes with a carton of vodka clasped under one arm*

It's mine you hear me? All mine, mine mine mine muahahahahahaaa my precious....

Oh...er...g'day PR, hows things?



matey

Thanks Bad and back at ya


Viv enjoyed the run to Adelaide and back, so did I needless to say hence the RL interuption to my on-line persona.


So there's cases of Vodka growing in the bushes over yonder hey? interesting...
*strips of shirt* why are we all, well the blokes anyway, half naked?

Apparently the chaps removing their upper clothing was Kristina's idea and was supposed to encourage me to make a posting. It appears to have worked too...

*Deftly liberates another bottle of vodka from the crate whilst BadZen is talking to PondRat*

Congratulations on being mobile once again Ralph! I'm sure that riding your m/c around will burn a few calories and soon solve your little 'hope chest' problem...Someone once told me that m/c riding burns more calories than a jolly good bonk!

Sounds like someone trying to rationalize a lacklustre love life! On the other hand it may be true. At least I'm now able to test one part of that theory!

*carries in another box of whatever, which he sets next to the beer cooler that he's been steadily depleteing!*

With them all argueing over that vodka, I've had no competition for all this beer! Hope Kristina doesn't get upset 'cause everything's piled by the cooler.

RtJ