h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Screeches to a halt and bursts in to an empty coffee shop*

Shop! Punter requiring service here!

*Bursts through the door and rushes over to the counter*

Hiya Gwennie! Trust you to be first in the queue.
Oops, sorry. Was that your foot I just trod on?
*bends down in a concerned way to take a look at the foot and accidentally elbows Gwennie away from the counter.*

Don't mind me oh scaly one! I can't feel a thing through my Doc Marten boots!

*Walks around the counter and pours herself and Coely a couple of *

One lump or two dearest, or do you still consider yourself to be sweet enough already?

I came here looking for any hot bikers but a will have to do for now. No sugar ta, but if you've got a medicinal to pour in it that would be nice.
Can't they get the staff in here?

I believe that we're supposed to issue constructive suggestions re the decor and ambience, etc. but in the abscess of "The Management", I suggest we relax and dirty some of the crockery.

*Pours another couple of *

Well, it's a bit early in the day for a and I'm addicted to the stuff.

*drives up in front of the shop with a very battered old truck, breaks screeching*

*barges in*

Hiya girls - wow, you two sure found your way here in a flash, didn't you?

Sorry it took me so long to get here, but I've been driving around at various jumble sales, and look what I found! *waves at pile of miscellaneous furniture in truck*


bentwood side chairs http://www.cnn.com/STYLE/arts/9911/16/moma.modern.things/chair.wood.jpg
captain's chairs
http://www.umich.edu/~umalumni/association/images/chair.gif
and, on top of the pile, a sunburst chair
http://www.news.wisc.edu/welcome/odyssey/Campus/images/tour/chair.jpg
a variety of wooden tables, round, rectangular, triangular, all very worn


The yellow chair on top is mine!

Help me unload it, will you girls? But first I need a .. *looks at Gwennie* Pour me one, please - you seem to already have made yourself at home!

*clambers off her elderly push bike, takes the padlock and chain out of the wicker basket on the handlebars and secures the bike to the lamp post and enters*

That is closest you'll get me to riding a motorbike!

Hi guys!

Nice place, is a milkshake a possibility?

Sorry Caer, no milkshakes available yet - just or *nudges Gwennie*

*steps outside the shop, looking for help unloading the truck <./>F87255?thread=179209&latest=1</.>*

*picks a cardboard box out of the truck, carries it inside*

I got a friend to print these leaflets for me - once we're settled, I want you girls to go out and post these all over the place - on bikes, clubhouses, hunks - you name it!

*a screech, a roar, a clatter and a belch betokens the arrival of JTG, astride his virtual chopper (front-wheel drive and virtually unridable)*

Howdy. Need a little help there?

JTG

*steps outside again*

Hiya handsome! *eyes bike* Nice piece!

Yeah, we need to unload this truck.. *waves at load of furniture* Got any friends who could help as well? *looking very feminine and helpless*

*Fills several mugs with coffee which she passes around and runs outside to help unload the furniture, tripping over Caerwynn's bike in her rush*

Oh! I didn't know we had company...

*Feigns innocence and also tries very hard to look feminine and helpless but only manages to look completely gormless*

*bruuuuuum*

Nice equipment you have,

*looks John up and down*



What's on the menu then? Got any vanilla milkshakes? That's the only vanilla I can stand...

*sidles upto John and places black ankle boot on his knee*

Hello handsome, where have I been all your life?

*has a quick sip of the , then s out to prop her bike up. Notes all the female attention lavished on JTG, so starts unloading the truck, in the hopes of finding a milkshake machine*

Hands off, girls - at least until we've unloaded this truck!

*sweeps GB's boot off JTG's knee*

Milkshake machine?

*scratches head*

Well, now that you mention it - I think I picked one up somewhere along the road - the question is where.. *eyes the heap of furniture*

Oh well, we'd better start unloading, right? *gives up the attempt to appear helpless, climbs up onto truck, starts handing down chairs*

Careful with the yellow one!

Er, yes... well... I seem to have...

*sneezes manfully into bandanna, and stretches. Vertebrae pop like fireworks on Chinese New Year.*

Right, then. Let's get busy! Here, pass me some of that furniture.

*takes the yellow chair and carries it into the Cafe*

*places it down carefully at the back out of harm's way*

*thinks to herself that if Kristina knew how clumsy she can be she would would never have let her take the chair*

*offers up a silent thanks to the gods and goes back out to the truck*

*hands down chairs from the truck*

Leave the most battered ones outside, for those who want to sit in the sunshine *looks across street* - enjoying the view!

*Emerges from the front door of the clubhouse, blinking in the sunlight...*

*rushes across the road, narrowly avoiding an errant Volvo*

Coffee! Coffee good! Great name for a coffee shop, too.

I don't suppose you'd like to join the club, would you? Of course, it's rather exclusive...but I could be bribed with a

*plugs in milkshake maker*

*waits while striking up a sultry pose*