h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...hurriedly you close the closet door and hope you can distract Hubby long enough to keep him away from this closet......Darling I have you supper ready...shall we go into the kitchens.....

Aah, that was the wrong thing to say, hubby's suspicious because you NEVER have the supper ready when he gets home, and the moment he smells the apple pie he turns round to investigate...

..thats it hes seen the blood on the floor and the old mans wellies! you'll never be able to explain that..or how the supper smells so much like the pervy cab driver you put in the pie!
theres only one thing for it..you pick up the axe again and..

..in a dr evil type fashion..warhahahahaahaha

as you...

swing it over your head you see...

...your reflection in the mirror and the maniacal glint in your eye as the axe falls, again and again.......

it's a déjà- vu, you stop dead...

...and wonder what déjà- vu actually means...

And so, with a spiff-and-spruce up, it's off to the library to look up "deja vu" all over again. Surely, by the time you get home, the cleaning lady will have attended to those nasty bits of pervert, hubby and pie. If not, well she too could go into ...

...maniacal servant mode...

which would mean that...

you'd have to kill her too..oh well.. best dust off that chainsaw

Wondering, have those last few bodies in the dis-used well compacted yet? May need space for these latest bits. Maybe even time to ring up the realtor, see if there's a newer manse to inhabit, ...

Who else is going to be killed off??? I started this story...and I will not go quietly....do you understand?

I will contact the police and tell them of the hidden bodies in the Cellar and the Attic.......

you didn't start it I did

Not really caring who started it, the Reverend quietly slips in the back door, descends to the sub-cellar where the REALLY good wines are kept. Brusquely brushing aside the dessicated remains of Hansel & Gretel, he finds exactly what he was after, the ...

Finest bottles of Chardonnay and Napoleon Brandy to be found on this side of the Atlantic.....but he also found the remains of......

last Wednesday's steak and kidney pie. Not being a large fan of kidney, especially Gertrude's (whom he is secretly sure it originally was), he tosses it aside. Deeper, deeper he delves to ultimately dislodge and expose to the world, the ultimate, the finest example of, the epitome of all variations of ...

Classic Rock....who put this down in the Cellar???

The best compilation of Rock Music ever made........Sacrilege!! I found that the Bob Seger CD has also been left down here....are the darling children reponsible for this....perhaps they should be.....