The H2G2 Wilde Awards

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A man in green with a feather in one hand and<br/>
			drawing a theatre curtain with the other

The H2G2 Wilde awards are awarded by the Academy of Wit and Eloquence (AWE) to members of the H2G2 community in recognition of outstanding service to the English language, though wit, word play, or a particularly apt, imaginative, or fitting turn of phrase during conversations or entries on H2G2. They are to reward verbal dexterity, rapier wit, or just a delicious turn of phrase!

The awards are named after Oscar Wilde, Irish novelist, playwright and wit. I was going to call these the"Oscars", but I'm told that that name is already gone :-)

Rules for awards

  • The nominated phrase must be original, or used in an original way.

  • The phrase must not have been used in a blatant or transparent attempt to get nominated.

  • Researchers may not nominate their own witticisms (sorry!)

  • Phrases which are used to insult, belittle, or humiliate others are not eligible.

  • Attacks on (or criticisms of) ideas or points of view, however, are eligible.

  • The Award Process

    1. Nominations can be posted


    2. After the end of the nomination period, each researcher
      whose witticism has been nominated is approached, and
      asked if he or she wishes to accept the nomination.

    3. A vote is taken, and the winner is announced!

    4. The winner and the nominee are invited to join the academy

    Those nominated for a Wilde award shall receive

    • The right to use the phrase "Wilde Award Nominee" or "AWE - WAn!" in his or her title

    • The right to show off in h2g2 threads by posting links
      directly to their place in the 'roll of honour'.

      <./>A722053#AWE_001</.> will link
      to the section detailing the first recipient

      <./>A722053#AWE_005</.> will link
      to the section detailing the fifth recipient


    Those who win a Wilde Award shall also receive

  • the right to use the phrase "Wilde Award Winner" or "AWE - WAWi" in his or her title

  • A listing on the Wilde Roll of Honour, with a link to the winning phrase

  • Future plans include a picture for the Researcher's homepage.

  • This is, apart from some very minor changes, how
    wanted this page to run, but the academy has always been open to suggestions!

    Members of the Academy of Wit and Eloquence

    Academy members are either previous award winners, or have been invited, as above, and are charged with the duty of seeking out shining examples of wit and eloquence. If you would like to become a member of the academy, please post to the Academy nomination list below and subscribe to the conversations on this page.

    Current members of the Academy are:












    Academy of Wit and Eloquence Roll of Honour

    Wilde Award Winners

    • The ninth Wilde Award was presented to U168677
      on the 1st of August, 2006

      for post 9 in the

      'Do weather systems rotate backwards in the Antipodes?"


      Post 9     So if you're drunk in the southern hemisphere does the room spin the opposite way?

    • The eighth Wilde Award was presented to U173821 on the 4th of May, 2004
      for post 96 in the

      'What's WRONG with The FR*NCH'


      Post 91     ...Personally I'm just sitting here watching him dig a bigger and bigger hole for himself....

      Post 95
          ... an extremely offensive, xenophobic and pointless conversation ... we should be trying to build bridges...

      Post 96
      Never mind building bridges, the way he's going we'll soon have a second chunnel

    • Winner seven was U114627, who produced two fantastic pastiches of
      romantic poetry to mark the imminent departure of the Imperial Lord Moxon.

      They're at post 37 and post 40 in

      this conversation

      . This is very possibly one of the greatest winning entries ever. Sadly, there's not space to do it full justice here.

    • Winner six was U92580, who wins the award for some well-aimed and

      topical M*icr*s*ft abuse

      during a conversation about impending asteroid doom. It's posting 17.
      "If the name NT7 *is* a Microsoft plot, the asteroid will
      probably arrive 3 years late, hit the moon by mistake, and then turn out to have been made from hot air and bulls**t."

    • The fifth winner was the most difficult decion yet, and went to U175610 for this little gem which proves the old adage that timing is

      everything, and even a frankly terrible pun can win such a prestigeous award if deployed correctly. It's post

      number 3, but you'll need to read the first two to get it!

    • Winner number four was U54363 for the following observation in peer review

      discussion on an entry entitled simply "why": "That's why blokes are so argumentative - it's all those

      "why" chromosomes."
      It can be found lurking

      at post 18.

    • The third Wilde Award Winner was U178834 for describing football as "the

      game where you put a ball with half a foot radius on a ball with 6000 km radius, and then try to kick the small

      ball instead of the large one?"
      . This entry was commended for true Douglas Adams / Hitchikers style

      detached viewpoint humour. It can be found on its homeboy turf here at post 6.

    • The second Wilde Award Winner was U104826, for responding to a question about

      how we know other researchers exist (rather than being, say, AI scripts) by claiming to be "a series of

      hyper lucky monkeys who writes coherent articles".
      This article combines genuine wit with a

      Hitchiker's reference, and is thus a worthy winner. Click here and scroll down to post 39.

    • The first Wilde Award Winner was U146988, for the coining of the phrase

      "social chicken" to describe the process of whether or not to contact old friends whom you

      haven't been in touch with for ages, or to wait for them to contact you. To see the phrase in its natural

      habitat, click here and scroll down to post 6.

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