h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Once again I shall be the HEROINE of the story!

Only if you write your own STORYLINES

SENILITY is not allowed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hah!

You are TRYING my patience TQ!

Girlfriend? What bl**dy girlfriend LW? Will I ever have the chance to dust off my NEGLIGEE?

I warned there is no such thing as an ELIGIBLE bachelor!

BELIEVABLE or not, Sir Animal, knight and jester to boot, is free, to the right person, but the planet is big, it could take time finding me

s*** 'ble',darn it!!

LW toyed with my affections. He has taken my and ripped it out, leaving me BLEEDING and Where are the Baron's guards? There is a love- in the Enchanted Forest

Now there's INGRATITUDE for you, I expose the conniving LW for the love cheat that he is and BB says there is a Rat in the Forest. I'll have you know that the Forest is my domain, Knights dare not venture there for fear of horrible traps (pits of rotting )

The knights should have nothing to fear if they're waering clean UNDERPANTS.

TQ you must promise to look after BB and take your STANCE in her protection!

I did the honest & honourable thing, and informed you of my girlfriend before your ROMANCE went any further BB. I did this to save you grief. Never did I promise you anything other than what I am. I am not a love rat. But merely someone who has been honest and open with you, BB. I will always be a defender of your honour and will continue to protect damsels with zeal.

You are aware that lady BB can COMMANDEER the guard and have you arrested for breaking her heart?

I did not break her heart, I promised nothing, but the ability to defend her against evil doers.I think this situation should be RECONSIDERED. I shall always defend ladies, as you know.

Oh LW.. now look.. you have made my face REDDEN in memory!

If you would like to thumb back through the back log. I have never kept my GIRLFRIEND a secret. I have openly spoken of her.

You have made all of us Damsels feel special. When really you have been DENYING your true intentions!

Of course I make damsels feel special, they deserve it.As you say I make you all feel special, not just one, not just singling out one, but all of you. But it would a be false hood of you to say I'm denying it or hiding anything. I have always spoken openly of my GIRLFRIEND, so as for denying true intentions this is a falsehood.

I believe you find yourself in a real PREDICAMENT and no mistake, LW! Offering to let me rub your pole down and then revealing yourself - so to speak!!!!

You are a lady of TENDER emotions. Allow me to prostrate myself at your feet