h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Rasputin - A698448
Author: Magic Hat - U190050

This is my first attempt at writing for something on this site....please be gentle (and forgiving!)

i will be back to read the whole thing later

Of course we will be gentle! ( muah,hah,hah,ha!! )

This has the potential to be a good article, however there are a few things you should do:

1) Generally, Edited Guide articles are not written in the 'first person.' You must not use the dreaded 'I'- word!

2) The Rumplestiltskin portion is mostly irrelevant, as far as I can see, and adds little to the article, despite being an amusing 'aside'

If you have not already done so, read the http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/Writing-Guidelines

BTW, during the 1970's there was an annoying disco tune about Rasputin. One of the lyrics in the chorus went: 'Rah-rah, Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen!' or something ... Horrible!

Very interesting article - I agree with Tal though, the Rumplestiltskin part is irrelevant - maybe you could write another entry about him?

Points taken....
Irrelevant section to be removed and the "I" problem fixed!
Ta!

Any improvement?

And yes, Tal, I can recall that Rah, Rah Rasputin song. I think it was Boney M although I could be wrong.

Better, but you've still got the almost-as-nasty "me" floating around there...the whole first paragraph (about why your writing about him) could probably be removed as well

First paragraph removed, and remaining reference to "me" is gone as well (thought i'd already done that, but it slipped through!).

or ?

Ok, I'm starting to get picky now...it's the sub-ed in me, sorry!

The first heading is unnecessary, because you already have the main entry heading, and the information contained in the ehading is repeated in the paragraph...

Use single quotes not double quotes (' instead of ") - the word cured in the 2nd paragraph...

Haemophilia has an 'a'.

You could maybe explain that with Haemophilia it was unlikely that Alexi could ever be the Tsar, and so his parents were desperate for any 'miracle cure'.

Rasputin and Alexandra *did not* lead Russia into a revolution. It is totally false to say this. There were a whole bunch of factors which were the basis of the Russian Revolution - Rasputin *was* an agitator, but he was killed on Jan 2 1917 - It wasn't until March that the riots started getting really bad and the Tsar abdicated. The Tsar had been generally disliked since 'Bloody Sunday' in 1905.

His middle name is Efimovich (just in case you want to add it in )

He was born Grigory (or Gregory) Novykh, but the peasants of his district nicknamed him Gregory Rasputin, whch loosly translates to 'Gregory the Rake'.

He was born in Western Siberia, which is a particularily bleak and desolate region where the temperature often drops below negative 40 degrees clecius in winter.

I think something about how he gained favour through the church should go at the start of the paragraph about meeting the Tsar.

He arrived in Petrograd in about 1910.

He had a reputation as a miracle worker before he came to St Petersburg - he had tremendous hypnotic power.

He brought one of his two daughters to Petrograd, where she became 'chief companion' to one of the Tsaritas.

He believed the Tsar to be very simple, not cut out to be a sovereign, and thought the Tsarina to be very wise.



Hope that some of that is useful!!

Sorry...just read some of my old history text book and found a secondary source from the guy who killed him...

He went to the aristo's house for tea (don't think that enticed is an appropriate word ) - ate many cakes that were laced with cyanide and drank 2 glasses of Madiera from a glass containing cyanide...the guy then went and got a revolver, gave him another glass of wine, and shot him in the heart. Doctor (who was a conspirator) pronounced him dead. The guy took his pulse, and then 'shook the corpse violently'. The eyelid quivered...slight tremors contracted all over his face...the left eye opened, then the right. Rasputin lept to his feet, foaming at the mouth - with a wild roar he rushed the guy, tried to strangle him....the guy ran away...Rasputin did the crawl away thing...they shot him 4 times. They wrapped the corpse in heavy linen and hurled it into the river.

-Prince Felix Youssoupoff was the guy's name - he was a young Russian aristocrat born into the wealthiest family in Russia - he married the Tsar's niece Princess Irina in 1914. He worked his way into Rasputin's favour by asking for medical advice. The other conspirators were called Dimitri, Soukhotin, Doctor Lazovert, and Pourichkevitch.

Sorry to bring this up, but according to one of his closest friends, Rasputin was actually a model of hygiene. This is testimony from Fillipov, a publisher and one of the monk's allies in Petersburg:

"I had an opportunity to observe the physical peculiarities of his body since we bathed together on Cossack Lane. Externally Rasputin was exceptionally clean: he often changed his linen, went to the baths, and never smelled bad."

That's from testimony Fillipov gave to the Extraordinary Commission, a board set up by the Provisional Govt. in 1917 to investigate the widespread rumours of 'dark powers' influencing the royals. They interviewed a lot of Rasputin's friends and enemies, getting mixed testimony about his character. But when the Bolsheviks took over they determined to slander the Romanovs, and what better way than to denigrate their close advisor? So the positive testimony was locked away, and the myth of Rasputin as a totally evil madman was born.

The layout of the article could be better, with more subheadings. Some more detail on the state of Russia at the time, and on the Romanovs. And a more detailed look at his early life, and dealings with the Khlyst sects. You might want to mention the power of his eyes, too. Every witness mentions them..."the instantly blazing, magnetic gaze...", "the hypnotic power shining in his exceptional eyes", "deep-set, unendurable eyes".

Also, I've read that the conspirators got Rasputin to the house by promising to introduce him to a naval captain's wife who he had seen and liked the look of. The article is promising, but needs quite a bit more work, spit and polish, etc. Don't be discouraged! You've picked a v. interesting subject

Hemophilia is a correct spelling, I believe. United States grammar eliminates the "a" from the Latin "ae".


hemophilia

n : congenital tendency to uncontrolled bleeding; usually affects males and is transmitted from mother to son [syn: haemophilia, bleeder's disease]
Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

My source: http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=hemophilia&r=2

*Michael Notforyou*

Just butting in here, but the Guide insists on Brit Eng spelling.

Look at all this!

Many thanks for all your comments and pointers.
It looks as though the original piece I wrote requires much alteration, which at the moment I do not have time for (final year at uni and all that).
However, I will return...

Just post here when you've updated this.

* waits *

Yeah, I hope this gets finished off! It's pretty close to being a great Entry!

I spotted a couple of misspellings: 'monastry' should be 'monastery', and '...the Russian populace...' should read '...the Russian populace...'

And the 'Rasputin' song was indeed by Boney M!

er.. what's your proposed change to '...the Russian populace...' ??

That'll teach me to post in the small hours!

The Entry actually says 'the Russian populous', where it should say 'the Russian populace'.

A couple of things I spotted; "Rasputins" is the plural, I think you mean "Rasputin's" (several places)

Haemophilia doesn't need to be capitalised (does it?).

And you could do with checking the order of your paragraphs. It doesn't seem quite chronological, jumping around a bit. I think you mention Nicky 2 going to the front twice. (You mention it twice, not he went twice!)

Otherwise, it's looking good!

Gif