h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Beyond the walls of the fort, on the far side of the oasis, is a cleared strip of level ground with a large rickety shack stood at one end.

This is 'Mad Dewey' Bleriot's airstrip. Overshadowed by his more famous younger brother Louis, Dewey has built his own flying machine. It stands proudly outside the shack, and seems to comprise of nothing more than some raggedy scraps of canvas, a few bamboo canes, a dirty-looking engine and lots and lots of string. It has yet to make its maiden flight, but Dewey protests that it'll be the greatest flying machine ever.

He can usually be found tinkering with his creation, or snoozing in the sun. To keep the cats away, a line of sandbags and a twin-barrelled spud-gun have been set up around the shack.

*a lone Fleagionaire is seen carefully creeping up to the airstrip with a determined look on his face*

*he carefully observes the ricketty shack trying to make up his mind whether to make a dash for it*

*Suddenly, on the far side of the airstrip, a mound of sand erupts, revealing BBW. He runs in the opposite direction from the shack, towards the parked bulldozer that was used to make the airstrip. As he runs he leaps and yells and fires his pistol in the air. Anyone watching him would be looking away from the shack.*

*takes advantage of the distraction to run to the shack, wrench open the door dash inside and slam the door behind him*

Pheww zat was une lucky break !!

*there is a loud crack as the ricketty shack collapses around Red Dog leaving him sstanding amid a pile of timber and corrugated iron. The barrel of the Turde Hurleure can be seen poking out of the bottom of the pile*

Merde !

*Jumps in the bulldozer and starts it up. Puts it in gear and turns it away from the shack. Stands on the seat and jumps up and down.*

HEY CATS! ATTACK THIS!

*heaves at the rubble trying to dislodge the hurleure barrel*

*Gets tired of taunting non-existant cats and drives the bulldozer over to the remains of the shack.*

Need some help here?

You could help me with the other end of the hurleure barrel if you like.

*Uses the bulldozer to move some of the rubble. Hooks a chain from the bulldozer to the Hurleur barrel.*

Okay, I'm ready when you are.

*Puts the bulldozer in gear and begins to slowly pull the hurleur clear. As it comes away, the top step of a stairway leading down into the sand is revealed. BBW jumps down to examine it.*

Mon Dieu! Could this be the entrance to the lost underground city?

*gets down on hands and knees and brushes away some of the sand obscuring the top of the stairway*

Observez the ancient inscriptions on ze masonry 'ere. I am nert sure burt I zink it may be ancient Cattish pictograms. Look at zis frieze 'ere .... zere are representations of feesh zere and zey cannot av been seeen in zis desert for millenia.

I zink we should investigate immediatement ! Ze airstreep supplis should furnish most of ze things we need.

We should leave a message for ze Colonel.

*carves a message into a nearbye wooden post reading "Dear Colonel we av gone down ze stairs"*

Please excuse my tardiness. You know us yanks are late for everything. I shall guard Topside while y'all *said with sourthern drawl* go down there for a look and see. Sirs. ahm. *salutes*

The KID snatches up old rum crate to use as a seat on his Willes Jeep with a 50 cal machine gun Grabs his bladder of TeQuila takes a swig searches the horizon for cat activity.

*arrives even later*

'Allo 'allo; what's zis say, zen?

*reads message*

Mon Dieu! Zis must be it... What I 'ave been searching for all zis time! Ze Lost City of Amun-Bast! Ze last resting place of ze Great Pharoah Hapsut-Ankh-Dobermann!

But... Red Dog and ze ozzers... Zey will not know about ze traps and hidden ways of ze city! I must warn zem before it is too late!

*runs down stairs*

[NOTE: Entrance To Lost City thread is here: F83861?thread=170044 Cheers. ]