h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

. . .flap
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. . . . . . . . .poof!
Will you stop spotting the manservants, it looks like they've got measles. Besides, who's going to wash them?
::looks round:: Nice ambience

*Knocks on door, opens it an pokes his head in*

Hello, SG. *eyes widen as he takes in the view*

Er, nice place you have here.

*Holds out a measuring cup.*

Can I borrow a cup of brains. If you have any, of course.

*looks around with a smile at the sudden filling of her dungeon, and stands from the table she'd been sitting on. Luke jumps to the floor, and stands next to her, keeping an eye on the three guests*

I have brains, but none I can spare, I'm afraid... but if you wait long enough, I might be able to steal some from my brother... should be still good, hardly been used at all.

Anyone care for something to drink? Or eat? Or just a full blown day of entertainment? I've been playing with a few ideas that are guarenteed to send shivers down your spine, and tickle your fancy... maybe a few other things if you're lucky.
*While she was talking the man servants silently snuck around the dungeon, blocking off all exits, and hopefully trapping all parties*

Phases in through walls. Ignoring cries for help, simply informs SG of her ad in the Ghost Post http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A683976

::changes into then vanishes in a puff of to check on his fang club.::
::Returns::
Trapped!!!
ooooooh this is exciting
Wonder what will happen next

Ah, well, if you've nothing at the moment, then I'll just be leaving.

Oh. Er, excuse me, SG, but the exit appears to be blocked.

Phhhfff!
This is an anti-climax.
Where's the torture?

*high up in the eaves laughs to himself that Mistadrong doesn`t realise the lack of action is the personal torture being visited on him by SG ..... oh what a cunning woman that is*

::Gets bored and puts on headphones to listen to Sartre's play;
Hell is lack of other people::

*Saturn Girl has been locked in a trance the last few days, trying to decide what torture would be appropreate, but won't attact the attention of the evil vogons lurking the threads, waiting to stamp out anything they deam inappropreate... wakes up long enough to get a small snack, chain down her guests, and fall back into the trance to brain storm some more*

::Puts up an umbrella against the coming brain storm::
This could be a nasty one.

No, no, you misunderstood! I said BRAINS, not CHAINS.

*wakes up out of the trance*

I heard you fine... *reaches over, pinches his cheek*

But I wanted to keep you, so chains I used...

*falls back into trance*

Hang on I'll soon eat you out of these chains, I need some iron.

bad joke! boo! *chucks bad tomatoes*

::Still has his umbrella up and laughs, ha-ha as the s bounce off::

*A manages to get under the umbrella, everyone holds their breath waiting to see if it hits*

*Can hold his breath no longer*

Phhhhheeeeeewwwww.

Now, SG, if you would just remove this little chain that was mistakenly attached to me, I'll be on my way. Got work to do, people to see. Busy, busy, busy.

*sea pops her head in*

hey, SG, you're going to have a cameo in my story in the post, if you want to start reading it. it's called "the quest".

and let me apologize in advance.

*blink* appologise in advance? I don't like the sounds of that...

Oh, and BBW, just hold still, I haven't decided what to do with you yet...