h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

BBW! You promised you wouldn't tell!!!

That's the last time YOU get... well, I had better not say.

Sorry, sea, but the truth must be told - even if you threaten to keep ALL of the marshmallows to yourself.

And while we're on the topic of truth, I feel compelled to let everyone know that sea's ferrets are really minature warthogs that have been dressed up to look like ferrets. Ferrets are very fashionable, and although sea dearly wanted to be fashionable, real ferrets were much too expensive for sea. The warthogs were on sale and sea knew she could buy some cheap fun-fur at the fabric store, so a major deception was born.

But it didn't fool S*T*A*T*S investigators! When we saw those teeth, we knew right away: warthogs.

Remember, you heard it here first.

S*T*A*T*S investigative reporting at it's finest

~whisper~

BBW, that'd be Montana wood-dwelling Warthogs yeah ?

Oh yes, of course they are Montana wood-dwelling warthogs. That's why they were on sale. Seems Montana has a big problem with them - something about loss of habitat due to logging and being forced out of the woods into cities and towns. Many are getting bought by lumberjacks, and at the same time, there also seems to be an explosion in the ferret population among the lumberjacks of Montana and a run on fun-fur at the fabric shops. This is not a coincidence.

I am a master of animal disguises!

I shall debunk these ridiculous rumors by posting pictures of my ferrets and kitten! Bwahahaha! They shall be on my Uspace.

Animal diguises? Can you turn a dog into a fish then?

but of course!

*waggles hands behind his ears and opens and closes his mouth like a fish.*

*grabs RD, whirls him in a circle. Cartoon whirlwind envelops him, and bits of red fur fly out periodically. sea reaches in a few times, then stops him and hands RD a mirror to check out his new look*

He sees...

!

*all the cats in the room suddenly begin looking at RD speculatively, sniffing somewhat, and edge closer to him*

RD

Well, RD has been known to carp every now and then, and even perch on the edge of his chair, but this is ridiculous. Besides, I was under the impression he had already sold his sole. Just for the halibut. How will he ever learn to tuna piano now, cod damn it?

oh, bob, not another forum full of animal puns!

Yes. it's a catastrophe

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

whoops. Hope that doesn't screw up the forum. Meant to keep it short enough not to mess things up.