h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Petunia, who was the Executive Producer of Jane's show, managed to free her and fly off in their private helecopter.

Janet kept a cool head in front of the cameras and was awarded a seat when her opponent had a nervous breakdown and lept over a cliff.

The kids got high while watching the precedings on TV.

Petunia landed the helicopter on the roof of the building where their kids lived together.

Jane said, "I hope...

Pierre, your distant cousin from France conceived by a liaison during the Great War (see post 100) will still have that party he's been planning for all these years tomorrow night.

Petunia said, "...

have you gone mad all this is becase of the last party you went to"
Jane replied "but well ehy not go life cannot get much more disastorus than this so lets go. oh and dont forget the kids, but leave Peater".......

Petunia ran down to the appartment and grabbed the kids...

"Hey, man. Dad looks like a lady!"

...and pulled them into the helecopter.

Meanwhile, on the Congressional floor, Peater and Janet were trying to figure out a way to save the President.

Janet then smartly said, "...

its not the presedent that there afer its us if we go away thy will follow. look I foun this this morning its an invite to my cousons party in france i think we should go"

"yea but how I mean washingtons crawling withh those women and my acidentle offsping" said peater.

"don`t worry I have a cunning plan" replid Janet

"More cunning than a fox which had just been eleted presedent of the United stats be being cunning?" asked Peater

"Yes" said Jannet "look......

at my fist."

"What about it?" said Peater.

"Look closer," and with that, she slugged him and he fell over. She then calle din an emergency helicopter medvac, pushed the crew out, and pulled Peater on board. The two flew to France, taking the scenic route and stopping in NYC to pick up a nice gift.

Meanwhile, in the other helicopter, Petunia, Jane, and the kids; Jules and Nicky, stopped in Chicago to pick up a nice gift.

"Just because you're running from a hoard of angry women," said Jane, "Doesn't mean...

that you cannot by gifts for your family"

Just then a loud ruble was heard and the sky was fild with 40 small black aircraft.

"quick run" yelled jane back in the chopper.
There was then a mad dash for the chopper and a verry hasty take off. What then followed was a mad cat and mouse cace over the adlantic, then sudnly their pesures tured back...

...because they only had five minutes to get home before Oprah started.

"That was close," said Petunia, "You kids alright?"

Jules said, "...

No Man Im not F****** igh and this S**** is going on pas me some more majwanna will you"

"right" said Petunia mockingly "we should be lading in 10 to fifteen minute`s plese fassen your seat belts."

Menwhile janet and Peater were getting merry on he alchol they moud in the back of the chopper and the flying was gettin a bit hairy. After a while they crashed luckley it was just five miles away from the party.

SO they took a cab.

Petunia landed the chopper on Pierre's neighbor's tennis court.

The party was Massive it encircled 40 miles of land and most of that space wass took up by tents filled with acholl.

When peater and Janet arrived they fell in to The others. Petunia was verry put out to see Peater there and knew what the Consequences would be but hay this was a party they would come latter.
They all waked up to the door an knocked. The door opend and Coisen Pierre turend out to be non other than ........................(Duh Duh DURRRRR)

Ben Kingsley! Or, at least a very good look-alike.

"Allo, allo! Vat to we 'ave 'ere? My Cousine Peter et 'is lovely wife Jane!"

Peter turned to Jane and whispered, "Pierre's been in a bit of a timewarp and he's also quite blind. I suggest we play along."

And all would have been fine if Jules and Nicky hadden't suddenly...

started Hallucinating that Pierre was a 10ft moster from beonnd the aqylarion galaxy.

Meanwhile the others sliped inside the party whlie the secret service attaked Jules and Nicky.

the others enterd the P.A.R.T.Y

Jules stole one of the officer's guns and shot the piniata, giving him and Nicky time to escape into the party.

Nicky, of course, stole some .

"What we need here is some better music!" announced Peater as he changes the CD to The Best of Billy Idol.

but was unexsectadly attaked by nassa trained chips who had arrivd with one of the more weird gests Bill clinton.

The Jules, Nicky, Chelsea Clinton, and the Bush Daughters went into the basement to get hammered. When they turned on the light, however, they found...

A big 14ft stone monser asleep.

But that didn't bother them, so thay partied anyway. Chelsea decorated the monster like a pretty .

But suddenly the rock monster woke up and started attaking the bush grils. The problem was that they were all to stoned to notice. But someone else did.
Just the a miltary force the size of the omout of people in Tim buck too invaded the party .

All three of them! They stormed into the basement saving Chelsea and the Bush girls, but left Jules and Nicky to get themselves out. All seemed hopeless until Nicky had great idea, an uncommon feat, as his last great idea was to write the book "The Most Delicious Twinkie" and had made them quite a bit of money. This is how Nicky thought he and Jules could escape from the monster: