h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Oh quit your whineing at least its better than than the last place"said peater.
"No the tornado" sreemed jane
"oh said" Peatr "RUN Away"

"Oh quit your whineing at least its better than than the last place"said peater.
"No the tornado" sreemed jane
"oh said" Peatr "RUN Away"

They were sucked into the funnel and began to ride bicycles and row boate and knit and do silly things and the flew about a small farmhouse where a little girle wqatched them in wonder.

"so much for your plan" yelled jane over the din
"worth a try"p Peater yelled back
"anyone want a scaf" yelled Einstine and handed it over to jane and began vigrosly knitting again.
"oh look" said peater "an Eddie....

Munster doll! I thought I'd never see one again! Do you know how much they are worth?"

Peter tried to grab the doll, but suddenly

He fell out of the Tornado and began plumting the 100000000000feet to the ground.

But just then Janet apeared and...

Dug a realy realy deep hole so peta juct kept faling until he landed in a large vat of ...

emniotic fluid as Jane, Janet, and forty-seven other women simultaniously gave birth.

"Oh dear," said Peter, "this is bad because...

A) Im never going to souport a famliy this size
B) I only had sex with jannet
C) Why 47 ?"

just the a man in a white coat appeared ...

"You see, Peter," the doctor began, "When you gave your donation to the sperm bank, it was accidentally dropped into a fan while Jane, Jane and fourty-seven other women were haveing an earthquake drill and were all bent over and I'm afraid I have some worse news."

The doctor then handed Peter a piece of paper which read...

YOU are also going to have to ...........

Baby-sit all of the babies, as the fourty-nine women who have born your children have formed a club and are all vacationing for three weeks in the Bahamas.

"Och that will hurt" said peater.
Just then a black spaceship landed and a groop of men got out in white coats and srounded the groop.
"right said the leader, Im from theovrpoulategalaxyfund and im afraid the you will all have too......

"Put all the babies into this machine so they can be merged into one, thus decreasing the surplus population."

"Oh no," said Jane, rather overdramatically, "What about all these mothers?"

"Well," said the scientist from theoverpopulatedgalaxy, "We have room for you too."

Just then, Peter said, "...

what a brillent idea, why dot we put you lot in it insted and take your big blck space ship and go home?
"W W What" stuterd the leader"you cannot do that"
"yes I can I have help" said peatr "get them girls"
Just then 47 angry women atekked the men in white coats.

While the women were fighting the scientists, Peter grabbed Jane and Janet and their respective offspring and jumped into the ship. The doors closed and the ship took off, heading for a place no one would ever think poorly of a man whith two children by two different women he wasn't married to...


















San Francisco, California!

Many happy years passed untill one nigt a space ship landed in the backgarde. inside where 46 mad mothers with their bewilderd ofspring.

But by then, Peter had had a sex change and was now called Petunia, Janet was running for a seat on the US Congress, Jane had her own syndicated daytime TV talk-show, and their kids were hippie stoners with a best-selling book called "The Most Delicious Twinkie".

The fourty-six mothers then...

Diveded in to two groops.
Groop A raided the white house takeing no prisoners apart from the presedent.
while groop B gatecrashed Janes show.....