h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, being enlightened, I think I know everything about Buddha's physical incarnation, and I say you're not it.

If you were /truly/ enlightened, you would recognise that I am the Buddha's physical incarnation.

Are not.

I refuse to be drawn into such a petty squable; earthly matters are no concern of mine. Except the general wellbeing of every living (and select non- living) things on earth, of course.

Well, that is an earthly matter, and as you said earthly matters are no concern of yours, that makes you a liar, so you're not Buddha.

Hey Arthbard,

Are you still playing the Celebrity Game?

Rama

Sorry. I must have missed it when I got back from Spring Break.

Hence the "except". When I say that I mean things like money and food. I, being Buddha, give all my food away to those needy of it. Do you like hamburgers, by the way?

If you give away all your food, you'll starve to death, and then you wouldn't be able to spread your teachings.

And yes, hamburgers are nifty.

Talk of the unenlightened. Hunger is merely a state of mind.

Do you like the taste of hamburgers and meat in general?

While hunger might very well be a state of mind, surely starvation is not, as the body cannot sustain itself without some small quantity of food.

And yes, hamburgers and meat taste nice. I'm assuming this is going somewhere.

Mind over matter. I can Absorb natural energies from the world. I draw it from all the world, so as to make it less acute in one particular area.

AHA! If you eat meat you cannot possibly be enlightened. Killing an animal deliberately to enjoy the taste of it's flesh is wrong, so if you were enlightened you would recognise that it it wrong and would not do it.

Well, I only eat the bad animals. And that's no worse than causing pain and suffering to the poor fruits and vegetables. And surely drawing energy from the living world is much worse than eating flesh from the dead one.

Fruit and vegetables don't feel pain. How do you know you only eat the bad animals? What is a bad animal? Plus all that you said about the fruit and vegetables applies to the animals too. Anyway, the energy from the living world is waste energy, like the heat from a lightbulb. It then gets recycled and put in useful places.

How do you know fruits and vegetables don't feel pain? Have you ever been a fruit or vegetable? And I know which animals are bad, because I'm enlightened, remember? And how do you know which places are useful?

I know everything because I'm enlightened. Yes I have been a vetetable.

And when you were a vegetable, weren't you upset when someone ate you?

No. I felt that I had fulfilled my life purpose.

And if I were to eat you, now, wouldn't you be fulfilling your life purpose all over, again?

No. My life purpose is not to be eaten. Nor is it the life purpose any other animals.