h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*takes fingers out of ears*

Perfect. Thank you.

*gulps down *

I needed that.

But.... wait... I feel all funny...

*staggers*

*swoons, sending tables crashing*

Mr Cool fires again at the villen who promptly disappears into the band*

(accidently?) dropping his gun Mr Cool procedes over to the band by means of taking out his bull-whip and catching it onto the funny big light thinggy on the cealing in the middle of the room, and swinging over to descend onto the band from above*

"anyone seen shorty?"

*hunting through membres of band to find villen accidently gets caught in the slide of a slide trombone and it all goes very humouras and slap-stick for a few agnosing moments*

Tap-dance?

That's a cheap trick Angel les Pieds. It's good led on the floor though, there is a much better view of the action from here I liked that thing the Scotsman did just then.

oh dear

*as the pusruit continues, Buchannan ponders events that now lead to him having to track down a dangerous knotmeister to get to tthe diamonds, an altogether less appealing job prospet than being seduced by a fem fatalle.... its a hard life sometimes....*

*sigh* Why do the elegant heroines have all the boring things to do? I've done the singing, screaming and swooning. If I sip any more I'll fall over. Ah, surely it's time for me to now do something amazingly stupid that will succeed in putting my life and possible other people's in grave danger.

*with no-one noticing, she wanders off up stage*

*Realising he has lost the knot meister for the moment, Buchannan turns back in self disgust and sits down on the gantry*

Seezing the opertunity, and swaying slightly under its weight, Blubberhouse dodges Mr Cool through teh band members and their insteriments*

Can't catch

Mr Cool, stumbeling over the stage, with a trombone slide on one foot knocks over the drums, and Winston is caught in the other end of teh trombne slide*


Carbonite.

*Angel les Pieds regains consciousness*

Right, who spiked my ?

*espies Blubberhouse*

Aha! Give me back that diamond-encrusted golden egg, you villain!

*realises too late that that did not sound suitably femme fatalish*

Ahem.

Bachelor (Johnny) Cool Man Scapegoat recovers his Kool, removes himself from teh trombone slide, grabs a Tuba and puts it on Blubberhouses head*

Reaches into Blubberhouses clothing and gets the diamond covered gold egg and hands it to Angel, and finding another diamond/gold gem inside the tuba hands this to Deackie*

Pours manhattan for everyone (not blubberhouse obviously)*

Takes out his Ciggerello case and hands everyone a ciggerette*

Oh, thank you Mr Cool.

This egg was not mine in the first place, but as a femme fatale, I am out for all I can get.

*stuffs egg back into bag*

*sips Manhattan and poses with foot-long cigarette holder*

What sort of song and dance routine did you have in mind?

No-one has noticed that I have gone to get myself into a life-threatening situation (see previous posting somewhere upthere) which is exactly how it should be.

*stupidly starts snooping around back stage where she really shouldn't be and is quite probably putting everyone's lives in danger by doing so*

*deackie falls to the ground after being knocked out from behind by an unknown assailant*

Did I just hear a thud?

*shakes head*

Nah!

I've lost the pot

Are you sure you haven't smoked it all already?

Blubberhouse, under the weight of the Tuba staggers over the stage, whilst Mr Cool sips and ponders the Pot and teh backstage Thud*

Blubberhouse breaks free of tuba and jumps off the stage*



From behind the stage, knot meister appears, carrying a cosh*

Blubberhouse begins to run for the door *

Mr Cool, probably under influence of the pot gets his Bull-whip out and lassos Blubberhouse*



knot meister begins to mingle out through the confussion*

Grabbing a chair, The Eligent, curvatious, delectible Deackie and the immaculate Fem something, whatsit, Angel hit Blubberhouse over the head*

Deackie and Angel look at knot meister in a rather ominous fassion*

knot meister begins Knotting*




The band begin to play "Death Cab for Cutie*

"Death Cab for Cutie,
Death Ca for Cutie,,
Someones going to make you pay your fare....."




Carbonite.

Eh? I think that bang on the head has left me very confused.

*slinks over to Deackie don't worry your pretty little head my villen hitter-over-the-head-with-a-chair-Deackie

*tap dancers