h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*steps out of the lariat of truth and looks at it carefully*

Hey! There's a tape recorder on this thing with prerecorded messages.

*she pressed the button* Jodan is a God. All hail Jodan.
*she presses it again* Hypatia is an alien from the dark side of the moon.
*she glares at the happily floating VP and presses it a third time* Join the Sheep Party and help us overthrow the President.

What do you hve to say for yourself, Young Man?

I admit to all of those except the last one. I took a vow, or an oath or something, remember?

Then how do you explain it's presence on your lariat? Go ahead. I'll wait. Take all the time you need to come up with a good story.

I'll go upstairs and change into some dry pajamas while you're thinking.

I think the question is, why is the President hearing things? Call in the Surgeon General!

The first two are just fact. The third is your wild imagination

Is that the best you can do? Blame it on my hearing? You are usually more inventive than that.

OK. I will admit to having a bit of a hearing problem. You have lucked out on that one. So perhaps you can tell me then what the third message actually was.

It says "Hypatia loves sheep".

It's the mystic tape recorder of truth!

And when did I deny liking sheep? Haven't I gone out of my way to protect your aromatic friends from the evil designs of those who would turn them into kabobs?

I shall chalk this little episode up to youthful exuberance. Now, don't let it happen again. And change the water in that pool after the sheep get out of it, please.

Honestly, it's no wonder I'm gray haired. The things I have to put up with would turn anyone gray.

*plucks a grey sheep from the president's hair*

hmm.

*plucks a grey hair from the president's sheep*

hmm.

*plucks a chicken*

mmm.

*makes soup*

I'm ill.





*bumps head on President's Invisible Sense of Apathy*

Cripes. Who left that there? Could take someone's eye out.

MJ, sorry you're . Hope you're better soon.

*goes back inside to her office pondering the apathy remark...first he accuses me of not fumigating some unknown varmint...now I'm too apathetic to suit him....about what I don't know *

MJ must have the vague virus.

Decides it's is a most pleasant pool to lurk in.
Tries very hard to ignore the tasty and swimming nearby.

F s

Hi FS. Nice to see you. Have you sampled Mrs. D's rock cakes or Uncle Harvey's cider?

Where's my lippery snipple?

Oh

My

God

I read about a case like this years ago in Wales. Only in this case, the victim began speaking perfect English!

*fixes MJ a bowl of chicken soup and finds him a warm cuddly teddy*

It shouldn't last much longer, dear. A year at the most.

I think I'm beyond hope, so can we progress to charity?

*holds out alms*

*takes the coin*


You're supposed to hold out your empty hand to ~receive~ alms, dear. Not give alms. now practice doing it corectly.


*MJ holds out his empty palm and Hypatia hands him a coin*

You're in politics, now. Receive coins. Receive coins.

I've been bribed by the President!

No MJ. That wasn't a bribe. I merely gave you back your own coin. Simple parity.

The yacht Jody Dan gave you. Now that was a bribe.

aahhh. *hides his salt beaten captain's hat*

well, um. yes. More of it I say. I like the sea wind in me hairs I do. Arrr.

Is this helping dispel the virus at all? Would you like another bowl of soup?

Who's Jody Dan and why's he horning in on my business?