h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...*dons her outfit...takes Mystrunner's into her arms...
checks the "wound"...* Hey-y-y-y! 'Tis only a flesh wound! I've heard of a fellow having a 'glass jaw'...
but I ain't ner hear tell of a 'glass heart'!
...*whispers into Mystrunner's ear...* Awaken, oh 'stunned one'!
...*drags him by the collar and dips him into the river...just seven or eight times to help him awaken...*

*Sputters and wakes*

Wha...?

*Blinks eyes, and squints about.*

Don't tell me. A cupid.

*Glances at the arrow wound.*

And that's an illusion...

*Wound fades out. Mystrunner pulls a bit of cloth out of his pockets, and blindfolds himself.*

This is for my own good, see? I don't really need to be mindless right now...

Oh but now you have to let us be your eyes...

Oh, Lord...

*Puts her hands on his shoulders*

You've go to trust us now. It's either that or us...

Wait. I need to test something...

*Walks off into the forest. Screams echo out, accompanied by a shower of birds. Mystrunner walks out from the side opposite from which he entered.*

Er, feeling better??

What? Who said that?

*Grasps his shoulders again as he seems to be disorientated*

VIP, my dear. Are you okay?

Hope he didn't see his reflection or sumthin'... Wouldn't that be just our luck? One fella' in the forrest an' he's stuck on himself! ...*begins to spin Mystrunner's in circles...puts a pin in his hand so he can pin the pin on sumthin'...* Wha'? When you're in the sticks...ya' gotta' make your own fun! ...*whispers...*careful where you stick that!

Hmmm...

*Feels the pin*

What exactly do you mean by this. I feel rather put upon...

Awwwww...ain't that a cryin' shame?! Good thing you have a thingie over your eyes...I jusss hate to see a man cry... well, not REALLY...(I just don't want Tatiana to scold me for being mean or somthin'.) Now, play nice!...*points M-man toward the pond...*there ya' go Hon, pin the pin on the...well, you'll find out......just a few more steps...keep going...that's it...

*Walks on top of the water.*

Yes?

Ohmyhell!~~~~~~~~I've been waiting my entire life to speak with you...er, face to face, as it were.
Why are you blindfolded?!I think you're an imposter!
Cool trick though!

Hmmm...? What now?

Oh, this? It's just the re-alignement of some statistics involving surface tension.

What was I supposed to meet here?

Wet. You were to meet wet. I think you know not what you do!It's not a good idea to disappoint me.Now,
put those molicules back like they were and pin the pin on wet.
I'll save you if you can't swim or sumthin'.

*Frowns and slowly sinks into the water, up to his waist.*

Better?

Not really.

Do you want me to save you?!

*Thinks*

Sure, why not?

Oh sure...probably the type of fellow to starve whilst sitting next to the phone too...awaiting some poor female to dial up a pizza for ya'....*removes dress...
...wades into the water...tries to toss M-man over her shoulder...
they both splash into the water...*
...*tries to stand only to slide in the mud and fall under water again...much to the delight of the chap she went in to rescue...*