h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It will be all right. I will look into it.

*Walks into the forest, somehow still sensing the trees even while blindfolded.*

Be careful sweetheart! Do you want a guide? It will be less scary if we go together!

...*grabs onto VIP's gown...*You're not thinking of leaving me here, alone, are you?!?? Er, I mean, I shall be right behind you...
bringing up the rear, as it were.
...*whispers, m-man, if we find a horny toad, I can squash that love spell...unless, of course you enjoy being blindfolded..
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I was about to wake you but RL kinda got in the way.

*hears owls hoot, but waits for the howls*

Wow. Nice place

...*jumps at the sound of a new voice...*
Hello! You look non-leathal...glad you like it here...cuz it's sorta' like The Holtel Calafornia...you can check out...but you can NEVER leave!
Come on Nate...don't be late...they won't wait...we're off to find our fate...it's a very important date...
SOMEONE stop me!!!

I can't leave?

'looks panicky'

But I'll be late

*

The Ethereal Elven Garden is eternal and thus does not know the concept of 'time'

Even time seems to be eternal in the garden

People have managed to leave in the past, but it is admittedly a bit tricky - not only do you risk your life and limb, but you also risk ending up in oblivion

</narrator*

*the garden appears more beautiful than ever, with the sun shining, birds chirping, the flower s humming happily as they tend the garden, the dolphins splashing in the river, a desolated swing hanging from the branch of a huge oak tree*

*but in the distance there is a slightly worrying howling*

Guess I'll stay if I'm allowed then. Oblivion doesn't sound like fun

Welcome to the clan, Nate. Nice to have you along. I don't want to find the howling, how about we swim with the dolphins again? We haven't done that properly since the !

*extends her hand to Nate*

Come on then!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SPLASH!!!
Yo', m-man!!! Nate! Wanna' ride the dolphins? They juss love it when you do that! Show um your stuff VIP!
WWWHOOOO-HOOOOO!!!

'looks sad'

I can't swim waaaah

*From the forest, Mystrunner goes 'bonk' on a passing tree.*

*the tree hastily steps back and stands still, pretending it never moved at all*

*would innocently, but trees don't know how to whistle*

!!! ~Lady-T~

I asked if you wanted me to take the love spell off ya'. But if YOU don't care...I sure as h, er, neither do I.

Come on Nate! Cheese and crackers!! You're in the Ethereal Garden for Pete's sake. You can do ANYthing you want. You don't even have to set your mind to it. I think that's a huge part of the attraction here as far as I'm concerned. Wha' was the question?

Arr! I know you were moving!

*Waves his fist in the wrong direction, and keeps moving.*

Hond onto the dolphins, they'll look after you! And the water isn't very deep.

*wanders into view from some unseen trail*

What's this?? Dolphins in the garden??
I hope they don't bother the tomatoes...

Welcome to 'our' wonderland!!! Of course the dolphins won't bother the tomatos, silly!...*whispers to Apollo...*
tis the 'maters what bother the visiters! see?! --->
...*mystrunners get smacked upside the head with a tomato...*

Apollo, I know it's been Centuries, but, don't you remember me?! ...*spins around...*tis I, Pandora! You don't look as if you've aged a bit!...*peers closely into Apollo's eyes...*
Hey, wait a New York minute. You must be Aopllo,
MANY generations removed! Or perhaps you opted for plastic surgery or sumthin'. ...*jupms back into the water onto a dolphin...*