h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I say Chaps, I'll make a point of perusing this conver when I'm back in Blighty, What What!

Squabbling Bleeder Bassman (Retired) - signing off - don't you know.

There's a Bogey on me tail......



Bassman

By Jingo ! Absolutely tops ... another chap for the chaps club. Splendid what .

G and T`s all round I think.

WAITER !

By Jove, as new boy I'll get this one in. WAITER!! Five gin and pinies quick-as-you-like, no war rations either you tight blighter. Put it on my tab what-ho.

Managed to bag a couple of fourpenny ones while I was delivering the bacon last sortie. Couple of nasty hloes in the cabbage crate - jolly bad show. Never mind what, I'll leave it for the techie whizzes down in the hanger, see if they can patch the old girl up a tad.

Let's see.... time for a couple more stiff ones then we'll go debag the Flight Commander - sounds like a jolly jape eh what?

Who's in??



Squabbling Bleeder Bassman (Retired)

Is somebody buying??

How absolutely smashing!!

Wonderful to meet you Bassman old fellow.

I say, your surname rings a bell. Wasn't your grandfather involved in that little Khyber fracas.

Victoria Cross for him, wasn't it??

Posthumous, of course.

What Ho!

Bally Martyr Grandfather was don't you know. Truth behind the story was, some sleepy blighter had fitted practise bombs to his crate. So when it was Bob's yopur Uncle time - and nothing happened, he had no choice but to crash the crate right into the Fuzzy Wuzzy's H.Q. don't you know. Jolly bad luck - but jolly good show.

The story goes that the only things left were monacle he wore and his best "Lucky" silver snuff box. Looks like the trinket let him down that time, what what?

Grandmama went to see the C.O. to receive the Gong, and it turned out the chap was a childhood sweetheart of hers. A match made in heaven.

So all's well that..... how's yer father ya know. Pip Pip. Spiffing.

Cripes gotta dash chaps......



Squabbling Bleeder Bassman (Retired)

I say Chaps, I`ve taken the frightful liberty of moving us to a permanent Club at the Hotspot. Its got everything a Chap could wish for .... faithful and aged retainers, copious quantities of G `n` T, deeply comfortable leather winged armchairs, attentive audiences to your war stories. Splendid ! see you at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F75930?thread=157452&post=1570164#p1570164 in the furture. Pip Pip !

Spiffing, I'll saunter right over don't-yer-know, what.

It'll be time to pull up a sandbag soon eh? Where would we be without war stories eh?

I was on the ceiling maybe 20 000 feet, just flippin' over me Betty Harpers, when a damned Bosch appeared on me tail... pulled so many G's trying to down the blighter that my eyes popped out on stalks, had to get the M.O. to slot them back in what - spiffing. Thought that the wings were going to fold on me faithful Pup, don't have time for any of those shinanigans I thought.

Well Tally Ho and Toodles....



Squabbling Bleeder Bassman (Retired)

Hey can l fly my F/A-18 around this thing its good at putin the bacon where it needs be

F/A-18, what kind of bi-plane is that old sport? Is it anything like my trusty Sopwith??



Squabbling Bleeder Bassman (Retired. Knife Fork Spoon, D.F.C. N.F.I. & Bar)