h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

let's see...

we'll need a Doggie-B-Gone launcher, a Chew Toy Hardener, and a Smack-the-Nose-with-a-Newspaper machine.

any other ideas?

A dog hating android that looks like a human, run by remote control. It can be armed with a news paper, leash, a hose, soap and huge wash tub for baths. Of course the android will have to be water proof.....

i'm impressed!

*starts production of aforementioned weapons*

we'll have to plan some sort of seige on the doghouse. we should also think about destroying their anti cat labs so they have to rebuild before they can retaliate.

cool

*A small fly lands, high up on a wall.*

*'s ears twitch*

*sees fly out of the corner of cat eyes, and pounces on it, spilling it's bug guts on the nice clean wall...*

*Bug guts that turn out to be tiny electronic components.

Another fly comes in and lands even higher up on the wall. Definately out of pounce range, this time.*

*grabs the wonderful hose that just happens to be laying around, and sprays the electronic bug, shorting it out.*

* blinks*

: perhaps we should make some mechanical spiders as well...

And they should be water proof too.

: waterproof is good...

*A new fly buzzes in and lands on the ceiling, directly above the cats. It has a somewhat rubbery look.*

*a rather mechanical-looking spider advances upon it - a new breed of spider that attacks its victims instead of waiting for them to get stuck in its web*

*A muted squeek comes from the fly and it takes off. It flys in a holding pattern around the ceiling light fixture.*

oops, sorry...

*the spider continues to stalk the fly, then prepares to jump and catch it*

*The fly changes it's flight pattern from simple circles into figure eights.*

*the spider makes a few recalculations, then leaps*

*The fly is just in the process of changing to a celtic knot flying pattern, when it is hit by a projectile spider. Both plummet earthwards and land in seas' drink, with a sizzle.

Five minutes later, a sparrow flys awkwardly in and perches on the ceiling light fixture.*