h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sah!
Please see ACF Recruitment Centre Thread Posting 402 and thereabouts.
Red Dog gave me permission to borrow the Crimson Shark in your (hopefully temporary) absence.
If you need it back, it's at the Pier except when in use.
Can you put me as a named driver on the insurance, or do I have to sort it myself? Sorry about not knowing the form about these things, except I'm a bit inexperienced/short.
Yours
Pinniped (U183682)

Sir!
I know you are only temporary c-n-c but I was wondering if I could build another ship? Anyway if not I won't mind. That's all I ask. Sir!

Nice one Ice Fang

Dear IceFang
Red Dog's in charge, of course, and clearly approves anyway, but yes please do build another ship. As a suggestion could you start by writing the Owner's Manual? And could I put upon you to write just a short little section about ship's in general? Only I have had a little bit of trouble steering this one. I took it to the supermarket the other day (just for practice you understand) and there was a bit of an unfortunate scrape. No real damage to the C-S, I'm pleased to say, but there was some to the other vehicles involved. I doubt that the write-offs will get to three figures, though. And the damage to Sainsbury's itself is minimal, at least at the north end.
I really feel I'm getting the hang of this now. Cats watch out!
(Happy Holiday!)
P.

The Shiur council has given me permission to lend you some of our ships, under the condition that you place no lethal weaponry onboard. They are not extremely large, but they work.

*A distant rumbling is heard, and six small points appear in the distance*

These are what we call the stikcyboats. They're quite fast, as you shall spfffff.....

*The Stickyboats have already closed the distance from the horizon to the pier, and Arty's sentence is interrupted by a mouthful of seawater from their large wake. To the observer with inhuman vision, the boats can be seen in moderate detail- 20 metres long, each with 16 jetski dropchutes, 20 1.00 caliber marsmallow machine guns with accompanying small stream waterguns and two foremounted swiveling beehive cannon.*

entirely nonlethal when used properly, but highly effective and very sticky. you'll find the life vests in the cockpit (which, for the nautically challenged, is in the back). I advise all cartoon characters to wear them, because even though you may be able to swim, if the boat goes down far from shore, you won't make it. The controls are remarkably user ffpffffffff....

*the Stickyboats pass again*

friendly. They even have a remarkable new development- brakes. they're the only boats I know of that have them. The jetskis are a bit harder to handle, especially because of the .40 caliber marshmallow guns in the noses. if you like, I can provide Shiur teams to man the boats and/or man the jetskis, if you like. Oh, more on the weaponry- the marshmallow guns are gatling, so they put of three hundered marsmallows per minute. the water guns are for making them more sticky. The beehives ARE inhabited, so only fire at a distance. And lastly, the least useful function.

*A Stickyboat stops by the pier, and something deploys quickly out of the side. it is quite obviously a mirror.*

Some idiot at design decided that if you put a mirror between you and the opponent, that opponent will A: think you're an allied boat and not fire, or B: break the mirror and earn seven years of bad luck, thereby dramatically decreasing the probability that they will win. I'm sure there's some real use for it.

Deer Artenshiur

Admaril Pinepid seams to be a bit distracted at the mowmant, so I have tooked charge of the Stickybotes. Thanks for the lone of them!
They serturnly are sticky and full of bees, but nuthing outside my expeerients.
Thanx agen!
Pooh

* disappears at high speed, humming *

::nods:: SIR! I'll do my best and all SIR!

Flock of trooping parrots fies in and makes off with certain, troublesom Pokemon.
Thanks! I'll keep them at the haunted Castle, when I get it finished. I'm going to train the houndour as my apprentice.
If you ever need the assistance of my army of the dead, let me know.

Hi, Ice Fang.

drops off basket of and big, juicy steaks for the wolf.

btw, nice upage.

::sees the food and smiles up at EX-R:: thanks :: eats the food hungerly::

I wonder, how can one person named Pooh drive six sixty-footers simultaneously?

(OOC ::glares at Arten:: Shut ur muzzle smart one)

muzzle? what muzzle? I haven't a muzzle. I barely have a head.

Well shut your muzzle anyway. (OOC it's coming from a dog.... )

*Thinks that muzzle`d off would be a good thing to say but possibly a little Jewish *

Oh, THAT muzzle! I see now.

*Plugs up the MUZZLE of his tranq pistol.*

What's that for?

::trys not to laugh:: Oh would you stop being smartmouthed

*emerges from the privy*

Hey! Whats going on? I was only in there for... a year... and.. a half... um...

...Ahem... Would you very much mind sitting down, Admiral? So kind... I am now going to explain what happened to the Crimson Shark. Please remain calm. You might draw some slight consolation from the fact that all those directly involved in this...err...incident have subsequently been either shot or driven into hiding. Are you ready? Then read this page-full of postings, taking deep breaths between paragraphs : http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F73233?thread=130673&skip=420&show=20 If you like, you can come back to me afterwards, but in all probability I will pretend to know nothing about any of it. Sah! Yours anonymously The MWSY (anag.)