h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Flunk looks at the coal sideways and says, "Flunk smoosh!"

He jumps on some of the coal repeatedly, reducing it to coal dust.

Flunk laughs stupidly.

this mentally retarded giant is a cliche ... any players who choose giants as characters please do not be offended at this rather ... impaired member of the species
Nerd42

[Sharp]: *s, smacking the side of his forehead.*

[Sharp]: *holds up one of the sacks of still-undamaged coal*

" yes, why- That's very impressive..."

"But what I was (/am) asking,"
*squelches the tar in his other hand (feeling a bit as the egg-is-now-on-his-face, so to speak )*
"...is if you can do Something Like That."

*shows Flunk using the (mock) demo. again*

"With your hand. To that."
*shows the sack of coal*

[Flunk] Duh ... ... uhh ... OK!

*Flunk takes a piece of coal in his large hands, and tries very hard to focus all his strength on it ... and very very slowly it begins to turn harder and harder ... he produces several stones that are almost diamonds, but his strength is not enough to restructure the molecules properly*

[Flunk] Hard rocks! Hard hard rocks!

[Gandark] *disappointed* Yes they are. We'd better keep these, perhaps we can find some other way to complete the process.

[Flunk] Flunk have pie? Pleeaaasseee???
Nerd42

[Sharp]: (To the lizard man): ", , so it didn't work."
*buys the cart-load for just one gold coin, since the lizard man is so terrified ("firsst thisss crazy mage guy again! Now a g-g-giant?!!!") that he takes off.*

(to Flunk):"Well thanks for trying. Here ya go, they're all yours."

[Sharp]: (thinks): maybe if we were to electrify the 'almost diamond'-coal...

: Back to the drawing board...
.

[Flunk] Yummy yummy yummy!!!

*Flunk makes a mess of eating several pies, gives up and wanders off aimlessly into the forest, quickly disappearing from sight*

[Gandark] Well, that was ... interesting ...
Nerd42

[Sharp]: "Uuuurrrr-Ghaaaaa!!!"

*casts 'bolt' on the 'almost-diamond (but not quite)' coal.*

"There. That's better."
*calmed down. *

: are they 'diamonds' yet?

take them with you on the quest - a solution may yet present itself

:

[Sharp]: *takes some of the 'near-diamond' coal with him.*

*Gandark does likewise*

: Hoo-key. ... Makes sense.

[Sharp]: *w/out yelling this time, uses his ing scythe to chop down/'prune back' some 'out-of-hand' plant.*

: Oops meant 's'.

[Sharp]: *practices some spells & scythe moves*
*exits*

: ...

reads pointless backlog

: Oh.