h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*asleep covered in cobwebs in a corner of the Inn surrounded by empty beer cans*

awwwww look at the iccle puppy!!!

nah i all ready stalk one person, not sure i can cope with two, i'll be like a demi stalker, i will just pop up every now and again and annoy him!

That's exactly what Fishs Freak does.

well you have two part time stalkers!

some people have none!

count yourself lucky!

I don't want a stalker!

*Wanders in, this time without tripping over the doorstep*

I've got a bucket of left over from feeding the boys! D'you think the nice doggy would like some? Does he have webbed feet?

Hey Deakie

wanna help me stalk Ben?

<Nik jumps up from behind bar where shes been slumped next to a few empty vodka bottles, a lot of empty cans & the remains of what looks like party ingredients>

Good afternoon girls glad to see you here in the Valallla..erm...thingy Inn, came last week but there was no bartender so i set up residence behind this 'ere bar.

Drink maybe its all free

and that Nik is exactly why i love you

bring it on baby!!

Hic...Hic... Hola my friend, while its quiet lets get sloshed Lets put some choons on, where is the...hic...stereo <looks at Ducky in a confused state while moving head back & forth to focus her vision> Quick down it Wa Hey I fu*kin love you Ducky I swear Ducky i fu*kin love ya you know, its not just cos i'm pissed you know.

and i love you too Nicky

Nik, can I have a wee if there's any?

*shaking Nik whilst trying to balance a bucket of fish*

Nik? Nik?

Oh well, looks like I'll have to help myself. Another PFD?

Shhhh don't wake her up! bless her!

always another baby! bring it on!!!

<wakes up with stiff neck & eyes a really nice French Connection coat covering her> Ohh i am quite chilly you know <tries on coat & it fits>

Right thats 20 minutes drinking time wasted who wants a slammer

Slammers all round then!

1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, FLOOR!

When i lived in Spain there were these army lads that did Tequila the most unusual way. Salt (snorted) up your nose, Lemon in your eye & Tequila erm... drank....Weirdo's

Are you sure it was salt?

You ever snorted sambucca? Nasty, nasty, but kinda funny after a while. Goes straight to your head!

Can't do tequila any more, makes me ill. Can I have a cointreau shot instead, it's lovely & burny!

Hi Ben

Yup am positive it was salt, apart from there strange drinking habits they were straighter than a really straight thing.