h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yeah, plus it adds a Tolkien-ish feel to the whole thing...

But would you eat a hobbit ?

No - I don't know any restaurants that serve Hobbits...
And Frodo's too cute to eat

Would you eat my Crispian ???

The mind boggles...

Have you seen my Crispian ??

They want to eat my frog !!

Just tell them it's one of those Amazon Rainforest frogs that oozes poison through the skin. That should stop 'em.

There's bound to be some nutcase who would at least try to lick him...

...usually it would be me...but I don't lick frogs

Don't worry, Tanzen - I won't eat your precious Crispian.
Here he is - *hands over the frog*
Awwww, isn't that reunion sweet?

*watches Tanzen intently, in case she tries to lick the frog surreptitiously*

*shudders*
Ivan, are you really sure she'd do something like that?
*watches Tanzen too*

It's hard to say... But at the very least, we can psych her out.

*runs and grabs a hypno ring*
Now, Tanzen... just stare at the ring... are you staring? Good. Now, when I snap my fingers, you drop the frog. Got it? OK... 1, 2, 3... *snap*

*tanzen, who had up until this point, been ecstatic and having Crispian back, stares blankly at Mignight Ice and drops her frog*

*Crispian, indignant and hurt, starts singing Do you Really Want To hurt Me?? *

Does anybody remember that frog off that cartoon which that guy found in a box in a demolition area which went "Hello my honey hello my baby hello my ragtime gaaal honey my hearts on fiiire youre my one true desiiire" except when the guy took it to show anybody it just went "ribbit" so he took it back to a building site and buried it?

No? Oh.

I remember

He was Crispian's great granddaddy

Yeah! I saw that on a documentary about that guy who invented the Lonney Tunes or whatever - Chuck somebody (shut up - stop laughing at my memory - it was three years ago, okay?)
That was so cool!
Oh yeah, Tanzen, you are out of my hypnotic tracne when I snap my fingers. *snap*

*shakes her head...her neck is stiff and she doesn't know why*

Um...where did Crispian go ??

*looks down, where her frog has fallen asleep...on her boot*

Awwww

Sorry about that, Tanzen - I was looking for an excuse to try out my new hypno ring...

*rubs her neck*

That's alright...just please don't do it again...I'm incredibly paranoid you know...

...but luckily Crispian decided to stick around this time

*gently lifts Crispian off her boot and places him in her pocket. He squirms for a little while, yawns, and continues to sleep*