h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

All the others are on the Proejct page now emr. Only do it IF you get time, don't worry otherwise! You've done enough as is!!

A5841498

Project page link for ease

I have maybe 20 minutes online just now - so hopefully I'll get to it tomorrow.

If you don't get time em, really, do not worry about it. It's definitely NOT a priority - just a whim

Do I post comments on the individual entries here?

The Edith Cavell entry:

Good entry! The only thing I don't like in it is the inclusion of this sentence:

"Newspapers reported that a German soldier by the name of Rammler was shot for refusing to shoot Edith Cavell, but this has been denied by eyewitnesses who attended the execution."

Since this was just an untrue rumour spread by newspapers at the time, I see no reason to include it. It will only fix the idea that this did happen in people's heads. If you must include it, put it in as a footnote, starting with "There is no truth in the story..."

One sentence needs to be reworded:

"After the war ended in 1919" -- it ended in 1918, not 1919.

You could say "In 1919, after the War was over, "

re-internment --> re-interment

Margaret Sanger entry:

Good entry! No suggested changes.

Thanks G.

I'm sure GB and emr will look into those

If you want to post to each Entry I believe SeaChange started an Idea Thread on each Entry or if you go the Project Page and scroll down there are individual Idea Threads there for each Entry too. It's up to you



MJ

Or you can just do it here like you are!

Lisa Potts entry:

"but none died — a fact the school headmistress put down to Lisa's actions:

[Letting them die] was something I could never ever dream of doing."

This is badly worded. It suggests that the quotation is said by the headmistress. But the wording of the quote itself suggests that it was Lisa who said it.

The quotation at the end from Amy looks out of place. It is not clear whether it is an item in the list or a separate quotation.

Yeah, agreed. I believe it was the headmistress who said it. But I'm not sure how to word it so that comes across.

how about -

but due to Lisa's actions noone died. The school headmistress herself commented: "Letting them die was something I could never ever dream of doing"

With the quote at the end, I wonder if if just removing the blockquote tag so that it left aligns itself would help?

Gnomon.

Flora Sandes entry:

The grammar of this section doesn't flow well - the quotes interrupting the sentence are too long, so the "learned how to use a weapon" seems like an isolated segment fragment.

"She borrowed a rifle:

I had only a revolver and no rifle of my own at that time, but one of my comrades was quite satisfied to lend me his and curl himself up and smoke.

learned how to use the weapon:

The officer in charge showed me how to fire off one of the guns when he gave the word, and let me take the place of the man who had been doing it.

and wore breeches, tunic and knee-high boots."

The same applies to the "Lt Jovitch" quotation.

"With the end of the Second World War in 1945, and the death of her husband earlier in 1941, Flora returned to England" -- shouldn't those be the other way around?

" and she continued to make public appearances" -- another apparent segment fragment.

The quotation at the end is an amusing one about rifle fire, but is not really a good one as a conclusion to this entry, in my opinion. Perhaps you could use it elsewhere, and find something more appropriate as a conclusion.

Suggested changes could be -

>She borrowed a rifle and quickly learned how to use the weapon:

"I had only a revolver and no rifle of my own at that time, but one of my comrades was quite satisfied to lend me his and curl himself up and smoke. The officer in charge showed me how to fire off one of the guns when he gave the word, and let me take the place of the man who had been doing it."

Flora soon officially<

>Although nearing forty years of age, she quickly became a corporal:

"Lt Jovitch took me into his company, and I was enrolled on its books, and he seemed to think I might be made a corporal pretty soon if I behaved myself."

Flora was in charge of a platoon when she was severely injured by an enemy grenade during hand-to-hand fighting in August 1916.<

I think emr can fix up the date problem concerning 1941 and 1945 no problem

Next suggested change-

>The quiet life was something Flora found difficult:

Turning from a woman to a private soldier proved nothing compared with turning back from soldier to ordinary woman.

She continued to make public appearances dressed in her uniform, a smart walking cane at her side, passing comment on the Great War to any who asked:

"It is a funny thing about rifle fire, that a person's instinct always seems to be to hunch up his shoulders or turn up his coat collar when he is walking about, as if it were rain, though the bullet you hear whistle past your ears is not the one that is going to hit you."

Flora Sandes passed away in 1956 at her home near Thornton Heath, Suffolk. To this day, she is almost forgotten by her home country, but in Serbia she continues to be an inspiration for the men and women of the armed forces.<

That way I think it has a better conclusion. Thanks again!

Also, when you say: "The daughter of Samuel Sandes, an Irish clergyman, Flora was born in 1876, the youngest of nine children. She grew up in the small town of Poppleton (near York)"

You could link to the EG entry on York.

I love this series, I'm learning so much!

There's an EG Entry on York?! Coolio, sure mer can add that in, what's the A Number Elentari?

Glad you like the series - I've loved doing it too

A577055

Night Witches entry:

Is there any reason for using nautical miles rather than the more familiar Imperial miles?

The quotation says:

"We were bombing the German positions every night, and none of us were ever shot down"

Later, you say:

"Even after being shot down or wounded, the pilots returned as soon as possible, ready to fly again."

I think this contradiction requires a footnote to explain it.

A few typos:

accomodate --> accommodate
peactime --> peacetime

This sentence is too long:

"Many of the female pilots also took great delight in making up combat aerobatics on the spot and 'killing' their instructors and some of the highly experienced male pilots, including some who had combat experience against the Luftwaffe3, who were brought in to be worthy adversaries for the apparently inexperienced and amateur women."

snuck in -- not British English
by her two comrades hitting the target --> by her two comrades, hitting the target

Miles? hmm, I think I used nautical because they were flying over the sea to a large extent, but I think you're right that needs to be changed.

6000 kilometres (3,730 miles)

As for the contradiction, I think the sneaky way around this is just to remove 'alter' the quote to this -

"Nobody knows the exact date when they started calling us 'Night Witches'. We were bombing the German positions every night, so the Germans began saying these are 'Night Witches', because it seemed impossible to kill us or shoot us down."
- Senior Lieutenant Serafima Amosova-Taranenko

Suggested change for that too long sentence -

>Many of the female pilots also took great delight in making up combat aerobatics on the spot and 'killing' their instructors - including some male pilots who had combat experience against the Luftwaffe3, brought in to be worthy adversaries for the apparently inexperienced and amateur women.<

I think emr can find those other typos

Again, thanks Gnomon.

I suggest 3,700 rather than 3,730. I'm sure it wasn't exactly 6,000km.

Lillie Hitchcock-Coit Entry:

Not much wrong with this!

You need to add an explanation to the second paragraph of "A Young Hothead" that the fire engines were drawn by men pulling ropes, rather than the more usual horses.

was born 23 August, 1843 --> was born on 23 August, 1843

as it careened to another fire -- this use of "careened" is not British English. "Careered" would be the equivalent word in BE. Careening means scraping the barnacles off the bottom of a boat.

October 3, 1863 --> 3 October, 1863
October 5, 1863 --> 5 October, 1863

so that her wigs fit better --> so that her wigs would fit better

Thanks! I'll let emr fix those (perhaps just a footnote about the men pulling the ropes and not horses).

I think the next Uni Project undertaken might have a few less entries! The Sub-Editor will get snowed under!

emr!!