h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

But Winner Alley's a one-way street - and all the signs say: "Reddyfreddy - One Mile Ahead!"

Well that doesn't make any kind of sense. They landmark a person on an alley sign? And all the signs say he's one mile ahead? Is that physically possible, or is there really just one sign?

We don't need to use roads anyhoo. We've gots yachts

It's a metaphor, silly!

As are the yachts perhaps - all at sea, adrift and currently in the doldrums

Metaphor? Must be one of those non-Ohioan places that supposedly exist.

To me, yachts symbolize the prowess and power of the campaign. Cutting through the waters at top speed

But in which direction?

Whichever way the wind blows?

Wherever we be, we be there.
I say set sails for Barbados and don't look back.

Which is, I think, south. But there's a bunch of land in between that we'll need to find a way around

There's a lake isn't there? I've been there, I think

You mean, um, the Ocean?

The only lake near me is Lake Erie. And if I'm near Lake Erie, I'm going the wrong way to Barbados, and shall have to take a left at Victory Lane, a U-turn at Badger Boulevard and get on to Alabaster Highway at Hicksville if I'm to get back on the right track.

No - the Ozarks. A lake of the Ozarks?

I've just googled it - there's a lake-cam!

I have been through there - there's a casino town called Harrisonburg, just over the Arkansas border. I remember that. Booger Hollow? I think I've still got a bumper sticker from there.

Though I've been to Lake Erie too. Well, past it. From Niagara to Akron. It was a while ago My exhaust fell off: I can still remember what it looked like, dwindling out of sight in my rear-view mirror

Oh, that one.
Yeah, sure.

Hyp should have something to say about that. She's shared her anecdotes about Ohio with me. Something about Springfield, I think.

I think the lake is in Missouri, though.

I whizzed through a lot of places rather too fast - I can't remember much about Lake Erie, but I can remember getting a new exhaust fitted in Akron. What I saw of Ohio I liked though

(Oh, and it's 'he', by the way Lots of people get confused by the name I actually quite like it - but I thought I'd better say)

I know Did I go wrong somewhere?

Ohio is lovely. I highly recommend our mechanics

It was on the other thread. One of the other threads. Just now. I think

Certainly fixed our car up a treat! A Plymouth Turismo: the most wildly unreliable car I've ever driven. Broke down in virtually every state.

The exhaust in Ohio. The radiator exploded in Spokane, Washington (fixed, then nearly did it again in Nevada). The electrics died on a highway in East St Louis (that was an interesting night).

Ah. So I did. Whoops.

It was probably your... um, discomfibulation rod all along

That'll be it. They never mention that in road movies.

You can just replace that with a pair of panty hose, which I should remind myself, you wouldn't be wearing

Actually, I think the fanbelt was the only bit of the original car we came home with, near enough.