h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well Mari-Rae, we have surfaced.
Only problem is we surfaced with no water anywhere near.
However the Blood of the Zaphodistas dosn't need water to sail.
let's see what the bridge does with this one.

boy the temperature sure drops here at night. It is a bright starlit night in the Australian desert. There's the southerrn cross.
And did you notice Scorpius is upside down

*Visibly brightens*

Scorpius? Are we watching Farscape? Lead me to the square-eyed- Monsieur Shagbark!

I was talking about the constellation in the night sky.
many of the constellations in australia can never be seen in Britain.

Oh! Shame...I was looking forward to seeing Scorpius being hung upside down.

I lived in NZ for a time, so know just how lovely the Southern Hemisphere sky can be at night

I am rather concerned about the level of the water in my hot tub. The ship is beached at an angle. Whew! It's too warm. Let's turn off the heater and put some cold water in. The stars are lovely here, you're right. Wait, I'll get rid of the dome thingy so that we can see properly. *Pulls lever and the dome scrapes back. Alkaline dust settles over everyone.*

thanks for the cod liver oil, gwennie. that really did the trick. now i can move me old limbs again

:: pours cooled in the jacuzzi ::

*A slightly muffled enquiry about camels on the starboard beam emanates from the Speaking Tube*

*Studies the horizon through her telescope.*

~Yes, navigator, there do seem to be a long line of camels approaching! ~

Are they smoking camels?

smoking camels?

i wonder what that tastes like. is it anything like smoked ham?

I wouldn't know as I can't remember far back enough to the last time I ate a bit of smoked dead pig.

if you are not the one eating all the danish bacon we send you, who is

shagbark orders gas masks from the dumbwaiter.
I've had enough of that cloud of dust coming from those camels.
If I was down on the foredeck I probably couldn't breath at all

The drovers have attached the camels and now the ship is being pulled across the desert. I wonder where we will end up?

*Hands Shagbark a nice cool * Stay up here, it's safer. We should put up an umbrella, though, to protect us from the sun.

:: emerges from the dumb waiter with a large umbrella and a jug of pinha colada ::

could i interest you in one of these?

it's a nice view from up here. and a spectacular too, right?

Thank you, Captain. *Opens umbrella so it shades the cool tub and sips a pina colada.* Mmmmmmmm! Those camels don't move too swiftly while they are pulling us. I wonder where they are taking us? Probably to the nearest immigration authority. They will probably lock us up in a detention center out in the middle of no where if we aren't careful.

What? Not without I hope?

*Suppresses a rising sense of panic*

i would *love* to meet the immigration officer who dares to try that to you girls

So would I!

*Wistful sigh*

He'd have to be drop-dead gorgeous and at least 6' tall, 48" chest, 32" waist and the hugest biceps ever!

*Thud*