h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Aw! You could at least have switched the torch off before you swallowed it! Look...You've made Linus's eyes blind!

We'd better put them back before anyone notices...

*Picks up Linus's eyes from the floor and reinstates them to their rightful owner and hits Pierce over the head with the torch*

*Decides to decorate Linus in keeping with the Holidays...*

I'll just prop him up in the corner here...

*drapes across his shoulders. Adds a ornament to the buttonhole of his trousers*

*Dangles some flashing earrings from Linus's ears*

Don't even ask where I managed to find flashing snowmen Mari...

*Stands back to admire Linus and watch the pair of snowmen drop their trousers simultaneously*

flashing ? well, if anyone can find them i bet you can, gwennie

*Takes a bow*

But of course!

Pierce, I realise that it wouldn't exactly be your , but have you been sent a copy of the nice young Santas that are in circulation this festive season yet?

*Winks at Mari*

no

but one of the girls in the office got some

i wonder if they are the same though

They look a bit like the Chippendales in festive thongs and matching hats...

you better send them then - i'll let my female colleagues judge if they are the same

*Removes Christmas decor from Linus's inert body. Packs it all away for next year. Wonders what to do with poor old Linus. Blows in his ear.. no reaction. *

I liked him much better animate.

I received lovely christmassy emails that put me right into the mood too. FFN!!!!

Mari - do you want to send those nice Emails to Pierce to pass on to his female colleagues, or shall I?

Sadly, I have deleted and dumped them.

I saved them to a disk, so shall in that case "do the honours".

*Wonders where that dratted has got to now*

*Looks under the bed*

Oh gawd! Yuck... no, there's no under here. Look what I found...*

*Pulls out a carton containing old Olivia Newton John albums*

I never suspected this about Linus.

John Farnham? Look, there are some records by him in here too. Have you ever heard of 'Sadie the Cleaning Lady'?

No I haven't. Is she under there too?

The poor woman...

I don't know...*hauls dead cleaning lady out from under the bed and props her up next to Linus.* They look real nice together, don't they?

A man will only put up with so much self imposed exile. HOWEVER acusations of owning Olivia Newton John and John Farnham records is something i can not let pass unchallenged !!!

Eeek! Linus spoke and he doesn't look very happy either...

Now look here Linus...We were only trying to help and we're really sorry about the eyeball thingee too...

*Hides the records and cleaning lady back under Linus's bed*

We didn't see anything chaps, did we?

*Looks around at Mari & Pierce for support but finds only two dust motes*

Given the amount of time you and Mari spend in my bedroom i can't see how any of those items could have been placed there without the knowledge of at least one of you...

*Tries very hard to look innocent*

Yes, but the box with the inflatable lady friend had nothing to do with us...