The King 2legs campaign Head quarters for the Monster Raving Badger Party
Created | Updated Nov 7, 2005
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Hi, hello, Howdi, welcome, come in, sit down, pull up a chair, or have a sit on this comfetable sofa, yeh, that one.
So you've come for the campaign, right, yeh, this is the place then fancy a cup of tea? Coffee? beer? wine? anything else? Here, have a donut or a cake
The Candidate
King 2legs of H2G2 as an upstanding member of the H2G2 community, has been put foward to run for President of H2G2 on behalf of the Monster Raving Badger Party.
As the person single handily responsible for ensuring the continueation of the London Meets following changes in BBC/H2G2 staffing, his presence on H2G2 has grown over the years, resulting first in his being named King Of H2G2, and surely logically next to be named President.
At the recent 2005 Summer meet, 2legs was the first ever recipiant of the new H2G2 special badge, which he was awarded for his outstanding contribution to insanity on the site. Also, he begrudgenly accepted the badge, as for years he'd been offered sexual favours by the Italics, all of which, of course, the Modest 2legs r refused many many times, before finally accepting the badge as a mark of the admiration shown towards 2legs by the staff and researchers alike
1
2legs is a twenty something year old, who owns too many guitars.
2
His many years service with Mi5 and covert opperations with SAS and SBS, make him not only well suited to the responsibility of office, but also more than capible of easily knocking off any opposition to his taking power.
3
'Power corrupts, total power currupts totally'
The Monster Raving Badger Party's campaign staff
- U218053 Vice President
- Campaign manager
- Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Minister for Misinformation
Main manafesto pledges
There should be more free donuts and beer for everyone
In supporting the work of the H2G2 hampsters, we comit ourselves to a 98% reduction in server-downtime, by the utilisation of the vast quantities of badgers at our disposal to help run the Hamster wheel
The Monster Raving Badger party pledges World Peace
The Monster Raving Badger party pledges the overthrow of the Robert Mugabe regime in Zimbabwe
The Monster Raving Badger party pledges withdrawal from Iraq,
- The Monster Raving badger Party pledges to smash the Thingite/Clive hegemony.
- The Monster Raving badger Party pledges to smash the 2legs hegemony.
We pledge to give union rights to all H2G2 Reasearchers
We pledge to uncover the truth behind the disappearance of nighthoover
We pledge free alcohol sex and equal rights for hamsters
WE pledge more free cake and booze than any other party!
We pledge to continue organising the London meets, at the rate of at least two a year
We pledge to randomly combined various things togehter into strange combinations for your enjoyment.
We pledge for the bimonthly reintroduction of the Paranoid Post
We pledge to curtail tax income, and increase spending, thanks to our unique links with the Mafia and the Mob
WE pledge to reintroduce milk in schools
We Pledge to Bring democracy and small horses to Buckingham by using large cheeses such as stilton
We pledge many many free penguines to all loyal supporters who want one, or more penguines
WE not only understand and acknowlede the importance of socks and shoes and stockings, but pledge free high quality shoes stockings and socks to all supporters on our election
We pledge to oficially acknowledge and promote international talk like a pirate day
The avid, loyal supporters of the MRBP campaign
2 Well 28 years old apparently
3 Rumours of involvement in covert opperations in Iraq are denied furuiously