h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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*hesitates, has a dark foreboding*

[witch]

*puts her arms tenderly around the and nibbles his ear*

What is wrong my love, what has you so wrapped in worry.

[]

I sensed a bit of hesitation in you, dear - you're not having second thoughts, are you?

Look, you're more than just another pretty face to me, you've got the brains as well as the look - are you with me or not?

[witch]
Second thoughts! No way! Of course I'm with you my love. Just know this...I'll not be tricked by anyone, I never go back on my word and as you have me cast in your spell so have I cast my spell on you. We go forward to do or die. Mind you, I have no intention of dying so let's do it.

[]

*boldly they step up to the throne, but just when they sit down on it...*



*...they turn into Tristan and Isolde*

[Tristan]

*looks at Isolde*

Oh no! How did this happen?

[Tristan]



Got any potion for this?

[Morgan La Fey]

(Sweeps down the stairs and marches to the throne, bony finger pointing at the two usurpers)

What game is this? (She demands) You stupid silly children. I'll give you potions. Ha! Will I give you potions..Potions to die for, come with me!

(Grabs each by an ear and starts to lead them out of the Hall)

[Drudge]

*Cleans fireplace area.*

[Isolde]

Drat, you pesky old hag. Don't you point your bony finger at us! And remove your hands from our persons.

*slyly reaches into pocket and brings out a vial*



*whispers to Tristan*

The same powder that froze the others will turn this old woman into a monument to stupidity!

*empties the vial over Morgan*

[Tristan]

*watching Morgan freezing in the middle of a movement, just like the others*

*wriggles to get his ear out of the grip*

Isolde - oh heck, you know what/who I mean - how do we get out of this trouble? I seem to have lost all my and powers when turning into this sorrowful Tristan character.. *grinding teeth*

[Isolde]
Here beloved *reaches once again in her bottomless pocket* drink this.

[Tristan]
*drinks*
*Tristan turns back into the , all his powers restored and enhanced*

[Isolde]
*drinks a potion and is the witch once again*

Let's move carefully now my love, my potions are almost finished. Of course we could visit Merlin's spot and steal more if necessary!

*as <vampire. and ,witch. dissapear out of the Hall, a large roudy group of Knights enter to the accompaniment of music*

tandadadadadada!
We're the Knights of the Round Table,
We dance when ever we're able...Hold on!
*all stop*
[Knight #1]
What ailes these people?

[Knight #2]
And why is our King sitting on the floor with his legs in the air as if he was frozen and had been revoved from his throne?

[Knight #3]
I suspect evil works. Summon Merlin!

[Knights in unison]
yes, Summon Merlin.

*puff of smoke, Merlin appears*
[Merlin]
Oh cobblers, not again. *swiftly draws out an object from the folds of his robe, incants a spell and casts it over the hall. Everyone becomes unfrozen, resulting in quite a number of people collapsing, since many were in mid step previously*
Right, I'm a busy man, you know, I can't be dealing with 5 of these episodes a day. Don't let it happen again!
*dissapears in a puff of smoke*

*lots of dazed and confused peope mill around*

[Narrator]
Meanwhile in an alcove of the Grand Hall, a young lady and a young squire:

[Young lady]
*teaching young squire the newest dance steps*
And then back, forward! Back - back I said - Lets go over it again.

[Young squire]
*starts crying*
I'll never get this right!

[Drudge]

*Continues sweeping out fireplace area. Finds a vial and pockets it.*

*whispers*

Psst ...changeling.
I'm in. Where do we head now?

[changeling, now as fairy]

Um... kitchen should be... that way! *, dragging Wolpertinger along*

Here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F68913?thread=116386