h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Telepathicly to Sea* Well there is an excess of lava around.

What happen to all the wizards and stuff?

Plot recap: We're on this mountain so that GL and Vomar can impress the Wizards who run this world, hoping to infiltrate their ranks. Once on the inside, hopefully they can figure out how to stop their dimensional imperialism. The earthquake and volcanic erupution were staged for that purpose and were directed away from the companions.


*The ground still shakes and lava still pours out of the top of the mountain. GL becomes aware of someone standing by his side. He breaks off chanting and the earthquake and lava flow subside. Turning to the stranger.*

Oh, excuse me. I thought this mountain was uninhabited, otherwise we would have chosen another mountain to practice our skill on.

Stranger: You made this happen?

GL: We did, yes.

Stranger: You command some powerful forces. I am a member of a clan who also command powerful forces. Perhaps you would like to meet with us.

GL: Well...we were really just passing through...

Stranger: I think you would be interested in the things my group can do and is doing. It could prove highly beneficial to you.

*GL turns to Affy.*

What do you think? Do we have time to meet with this group?

lol s'o.k sea i'm perfectly sane, promise, just having a bit of fun there's only so many times you can cower behind something before it gets dull!

i think i'll call you whitley, yes yes i will, pretty little thing

*Vomar looks at the new figure, arching an eyebrow*

Well, I suppose that we can always postpone our luncheon with Ahkmut and Pan. And if we go late, we can always show up at the Ethereal Planes of Atrii later. I mean, the stars are bound to reallign in three or four centuries, right? We'll just make it then, give the prophets a little confusion for now.

phew! thanks pf! just wanted to make sure...

*telepathic to ice* what if she gets attatched to it?

*out loud* i hope affy and garius are allright...

*Telepathicly to Sea* That would be very very frightning, I'd hate to see her powers when she was angry. **

Well we could always sneak around and spy on them to find out.

hehehe... tempting... very tempting...

(Looks at Lauri's Whitley and leers)

heeheeheeheeeheeehehehee... shiny...

*sees recrash leering at whitley*

oooooookay, so it's catching. fabulous.

*Begins backing away to keep a safe distance between the strange group*

I didn't know you had a whitley its so shiny. Mother told me never to talk to strangers and never cross the street without looking both ways first but she's gone gone. Will you be my mommy? Your whitley is doing something. I wonder what it looks like in the morning with the bright sun directly above and the ocean surf challenging the pier with breakers. Daddy worked on the pier. He's gone too. He also told me never to speak to strangers and all of you are are strangers. I don't know. They're telling me that now, in my head. I wish I could reach past all these bandages and into my head and turn down the sound. Mommy mommy daddy, will you tell me something else? I remember the fire. Can you please stop the fire, too? I don't like fire. Fire hurts. It hurt me, bad. But then a nice man came who was wearing my face now that I had no face and fixed me. He fixed me, mommy. He made me stop hurting and gave me this bright shiny button and told me I would never fear anything as long as I pressed it. Oh mommy, why dn't you come now? Will you be my mommy? I promise I'll be good. I won't play with my button.

*moves to grab ice's arm*

um.... are you scared? i sure am...

*looks up angrily at the new person and glares then crawls quickly so she is hiding behind sea and ice's legs*

it. is. mine. you can't have it, it's mine!

hush baby hush, it's o.k i'll look after you, nobody can have my pretty

Wizard: Very good. Just step this way, please.

*The wizard leads Vomar and GL a short way down and around the mountain. There is a small level place where the wizard stops and when GL and Vomar are both on the level place, the wizard nods and does something in his pocket. The 3 figures wink out of existence on the mountain, and wink into existence in an antiseptic-looking room.*

Wizard: We have transporter pads all around the world, but it is still cumbersome. It works on a line-of-site basis, so to get any distance, you have to start somewhere high up, or you have to skip from one pad to another. This pad is on the top floor, the 142nd floor, of this building, which is the tallest in the world.

Please follow me.

*The wizard leads the way out of the room.*


Feel free to improvise, Affy.

You sure you want me to improvise anything at all? I'll try to hone it down a bit, though.


*Vomar and GL follow, and Vomar attempts a stage whisper, hoping that the wizard will overhear without thinking that he was meant to overhear*


Garius, they're transporters are still sight-activated. What kind of backward Universe is this? Are you sure that we were reading the right map?


*Vomar increases his stride until he is in step with the wizard that he was following. He continues walking, but starts staring at the wizard in a ludicrously noticeable fashion*

*Stands tall trying to look unnerved and present his usual cold apathetic exterior*

A bit, ma petite, a bit. Spring, you said that a man with the same face as you helped you? Hmmm now who do we know that likes to dimension hop and find his alternate selves...

*Vomar sighs and slows down until Garius can catch up*


I need to rejuvenate. I shall now partake of the rare Pag-brosia, allowing me to comunicate with the hyper-sentient over-mind of Tryanis Seven. As you know, I'll just follow the action along without really thinking about it.


*Vomar takes out a stick of gum marked PAG, and begins chewing it*

*notices ice putting on a brave face, does the same. kneels down and puts an arm around lauri*

don't worry, we won't let anyone hurt your whitley. he sure is pretty!

*clings to sea's arm and ice's leg*
sea can i tell you a secret, you won't laugh at me, careful though whitley might hear me...........hush my baby it's o.k let me talk to sea, please pretty baby let me talk, please be quiet.......*moves closer to sea* i think whitley is talking to me, it's talking to me i can hear it in here *points to her head* sea i'm not frightened of my whitley, i love it so much but it feels so strange

where did they all go, where did the people that make the scary things happen go? we should stay with them, shouldn't we stay with them, they know things, they make things happen, where did they go?

*sea smiles at lauri*

what's whitley saying to you? can you tell?