h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now now boys, no need to fight!

If you can think of something else then maybe I could be the proffessor of something else!

Mon'

Professor of Something Else? Hm, it has a nice ring to it.

That's what I thought!

Mon'

I'd like to be the professor of cheating. What do you say?

Are you any good at it?

Am I good at it? Well, that's sort of a trick question. See, if I answer yes, then that would reveal to the world that I have, in fact, cheated, which would indicate that I am not very good at it. However, answering no would not be a good idea, either, as all inexperienced cheaters when asked if they've cheated will automatically answer no. This would reveal that, I am, not only a cheater, but a bad cheater. Therefore, the best answer I can give you is this:

Were I to cheat, which I may or may not have done in the past, I would surely be very good at it, as I have many of the skills that would help one, were one to need helping.

Very suspicious, I suggest you give him the post immediately!

Mon'

Sounds like a definite trickster,
Succesful cheating is like a good mixer,
Smooth blends of facts,
Lies, and nefarious acts,
Shall make Arthbard a likely fixer.

Now I see why you are the proffessor of verse!

Mon'

Its rather sad though,
That a vogon should be the
Professor of Verse.

Arthbard: If you want to be really sneaky, you could be the Professor of Cheatology, i.e. the ~theory~ of cheating, not cheating per se!

Actually, I just want people to be Professors of something ending with -ology because it's fun.

Hey, that might be a good title for Monique, by the way! "Professor of Something Ending with -ology".

Shouldnt that be Professor of Something Ending In -ologyology, in order to actualy represent a proper discipline?

Hmm, I think you have a point there. But how do you discern between the "-ology" of the discipline and the "-ology" that denotes that it ~is~ a discipline?

Trickyology issues indeed

how about Ology-ology or -ologyOlogy?

The former is better from a "how the grammar looks" standpoint, but the second seems if not clearer, definitely more pleasingly quirky .

Hmm, if I were a professor of poetology I would have to make my name a lymerick rather than a haiku, which could be fun actually

This vogonpoet from Edinburgh,
Is not really that bad a juggler,
He Keeps Balls in the Air
And writes verse for all to share:
Professor of Poetology.

Damn It would be tricky to think of two relevant ology rhymes

Vogonpoet offers now an appology,
For those with poetry more knowledgey,
I Keep Balls in the Air,
Write verse for all to share,
Professor of Poetology.


getting better, but I think I prefer the simple beauty of haiku anyway .

Hehehe, LOL. I like the limerick. You could keep that on your space.