h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Gull Family and Other Seabirds - A54046055
Author: gandalfstwin OGGMSTKMBGSUIKWIATA - U13926421

I think that this is ready.

Have a look thanx

GT

Nice work GT this is excellent I will let others comment but I feel the introduction needs to omit the referal to the next parts. Just amend the title to Part 1 - The Gull Family and Other Seabirds. Well done

GT

Hi gandalfstwin!

Nice to see you here in PR - you have put a lot of work into this Entry

A couple of comments to begin with:

The format of your entry is just a long list at the moment. As you are not able to have a photo of each of the birds you include, I suggest you add a little more general description of the various groups? For instance the most likely places you could see them, where the majority breed, or what they feed on and so on.

I'm also not sure of the title, and the opening paragraph. I think maybe you should call it something simpler, such as 'Sea Birds of the UK'. At the moment I was expecting an Entry on the Gull Family, with a few mentions of other sea birds that are sometimes (wrongly) referred to as seagulls. Maybe you could split the Entry by writing one just on Gulls? And then another on sea birds in general.

Hi GT, welcome to PR.
On first read I was struck on how it reminded me of those pocket size books that were all the rage in the 60s and 70s,"The Observers Book Of...." then you had titles for planes, boats, trains, birds, mammals etc.
I think you need to look at either shortening the list and give more detail of the birds you list or split into 2 or 3 articles to achieve this. I don't think there's enough info to help the novice birdwatcher to be able to identify the birds with the info you give.
As Lanzababe has said, it's just a very long list. You use certain terms and phrases without actually explaining what they mean. For example, what's meant by ""swims low in the water?""
A diver type bird actually goes under water to catch fish doesn't it?
Another example of vague description in the Coromant section you say it's the largest, all dark with dark legs and feet? Dark what? blue, black, pink, yellow???
Another example that requires clarification is the Red Throated Diver, you say ""it's the deepest swimming of the divers""....so we've gone from low swimming in water to deepest swimming.
Whilst an article of this type would be great for the EG in it's current format it just doesn't 'do the job' and needs some sorting, fleshing out and the list format really needs doing away with imo.

BMT Scout

I've no probs with the list, but the entry needs a bit of fleshing out ... (as said, we don't have the ability to stick piccys on every point of the list)

then we have the problem that long entries tend to get cut when subbed

personally, what I'd do ... is ...


split this up a bit into a set of entries, each on a section of your list

then flesh out some of the entries

they we can have a nice series of entries on seabirds and stuff

I was intending three entries, but post 2 put me off....



GT

Post 2 why ???

You said that you felt that the intro should not refer to the other parts!!



GT

The next parts dont need to be mentioned in the prolog. That is only my opinion as I said others may have a different idea. I think the entry is excellent I lernt something from it and found it rather interesting.

PS dont give up I thinknthis is the first ao a set of wonderful entries.

You didn't 'lernt?' to spell, though!!!


GT

Ha Ha! mae you larf

Hi Gandalfstwin,

It is going to take me a while to work through this, but as a very keen ornithologist, maybe you could look at:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/A13980008

as an idea. It was my intention to do all British birds, but I have too many entries on the go.

Happy to help out, and without a collaboration tag either. I have four years of birding magazines, all tagged, just waiting for the green light.

Over to you!

MMF

Sure MMF, why not!!

But I could not for shame allow you to collaborate WITHOUT you recieving some credit by way of a collaboration tag!

Excellent piece on the Ring-Neck, BTW..

It does not appear to have reached Preston yet....

Perhaps the fact that we have 'Perries' nesting every year in a church steeple in town puts them off!!!!


GT

I was going to do mine either by each bird individually, as per previous, or under the guidance of bird handbooks, so Divers, Grebes, Tubenoses, Pelicans, Herons etc. But pad it out. Get local stuff, colloquial names, changes in nesting stuff etc. I have 30+ bird books and still learning!!!



MMF

I've been birding for 35 years, and have still only scratched the surface!!


GT

This is going to be good

You are not suggesting there is going to be a schoolyard scrap, are you, Bob?

It is GT's (hope that is ) project. I shall just add additional material as I have it or as it is requested. My experience is slightly longer but my library is extensive...

After all, it is not my entry!!!

MMF

Hi gandalfstwin, is there any reason why this isn't in Guide ML? (The sub-ed would have to convert it otherwise). Then you could link to other h2g2 articles such as A48674361 which I wrote over a year ago, and A37952841 (which I sub-edited, and is how h2g2 articles are supposed to look)

<>
Hootoos? Do you mean Hootooers? If so, can you choose another description for "people"? People will read this article, should it eventually grace the EG, who are not hootooers. This site is public for anyone to read

<> pelaegic = pelagic, and you need to either footnote the meaning of pelagic [[Pertaining to open sea, or near the surface of the sea.]] or describe what you mean in the text.

alternating darkand light = dark and

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neccessity = necessity

<>
attatched = attached

<> That is not a sentence and the description of the colour doesn't need to be in block capitals.

<> that's fine, but you don't say the sizes are given in centimeters (cm) and every time you have listed the size you've put Cm when it should be cm

<< Plumages will be given for Summer Visitors, and also for Winter Visitors.>>
Plumages = Plumage (is plural)

<>
primative = primitive

<>
charactarised = characterised

<>
identificatiion = identification

<> (requires a full-stop after "aside")

I haven't got very far into your entry at all, and I don't have time right now to finish it, but if you run your article through a spell-checker it will bring up all the small errors you can amend yourself and save some time for reviewers

GB