h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Look ladyiz got placesago socudya hurrizitup a li'l? *glances at her watch* Geez I'mgonna mismytable now. Iain't gotha timeta lurdiss..

*flags down a taxi* Ah thank you kindly, my good man. Central Park please and don't spare the horses...

Yo, 'lil b! 'Sup?

Wun ting yas got wrong dere. Ya ain't gonna finda taxi dat fast in Noo Yawk ... 'specially if it's rainin' ... an' adinna time? Fugedaboudid!

Ya ..anyaz donwanna be goin to no CeneralPark neider. Tha places badnoos. C'monover myplace inna Village. We'll seewut I got in the frij. My treat.

Weiliaint neverbinassked niserinall mydaze. Yoogoddadeal jaydubbledya. Wendahell d'yoobuy houzesindavillage anywayz?

*almost passes out from lack of oxygen*

Gees Shea, perhaps you could give lessons on where on earth the breathing in a noo yawk sentence happens? This language could be a dangerous thing for novices..

Hey! D'yootink dat I iswearin distop widiskirt fornoreezon? Iyaint justoopid yaknows. Ima freakin' cold too..

Datwazforshea bydewayz. Dontwantcha gettinder rongideazabout me..

Yeah, Johnny-boy, puddit back in ya mouth, ya bum!

No howzez inda Villij, 'lil b, jest lawfts 'n stuff ...
Leevita Johnny ta hava plays inda Villij! He'z too coowel!

Youse ken gedda job down byda Linkin Tunnil widdat geddup, 'lil b! Geez ... leddum uza liddle imaginashun, woodja?

*eckzicootes ey-perfekt t'reepunt tern thru' daooopunskilyte.*

eybe noo ate dys, mee-see AB gradooat uf yurskool, kun uh'umbal worlordeh sein oop fer da curse ays wul?

Shoe-ah! Da moor da merriah I awlweighsay!

I thinkya kin youse sum help, too, oh wawlawda'mine! Waddayamean by "daooopunskilyte"? Dat's Greektame!

End AB haznd graduaded, hezjus honarery becawz itwuz hiz ideah sawda ...

*roflol wit a sout-midwestern drawl*
leaving a bookmark so i can take lessons when i got da time
*also wondering how long it will take for this thread to be moderated for foreign language content *

Honestly, after I posted that Entry I kept going back to make sure it was still there! I guess the translations held up to moderation!

(didja figger out 'da open sky lite' yet)?
All them ooooo's make a oo sound like in poop to me. But I guess he meant to extend a long O sound as in falling thru it.
Mind you I'm no expert; never done a three point turn in an o-o-open skylite before in m... No wait I tell a lie!

Ah! My problem was recognizing the three-point turn, but assuming that's something you do on a road, forgetting for the moment that Clive is an ostrich! Oy! Dis playse! You are a wizard at translation, though! First Scottish and now New Yorkese!

BTW, in my innocence, I pictured Dumbo's mom cradling him in her trunk when she was locked up. I've been informed what you mean by now, and will do this at you , and say "Yerapeesawoik, Johnny!"

Heyah crezzymoll, woysya bodderin widda transloitions? Moiks poyfeck soinstimmee.

Woin wegoittin ta bloyawaya Boitill muthaf***a?

Hooloit da roidnoikin? Doysey sayah "Kay-ow"?

Ye-ah, loik I kin helpwho wawksinna opun dooah! I mean, lookitchu!

Whosya blowinaway? Ya tawkintame? Awyapunk? Cawz Igotcha blowinaway ritehe-ah!

*wishes she could adequately describe the hand gestures*

* to the imagined hand gesture*

Soinswen wazyooa Boittil, loidy? Oi tink Micoitnoy azzgotta beah toiminoited foweah goits anuddah Mullakointya.

I thought I could get away with ignoring that "Boittil", but it's coming back to haunt me ... Saywhut?

We godda woik onya dikchun, Wumb ...

When annoyed at something someone may say to you, and you are at a loss for words, you can always retort by saying: "I gotcha ride he-ah!" Note the two syllable pronunciation of "here." This line is spoken whilest grabbing one's crotch, and giving it a good shake. This particular gesture works best for males, as females lack the proper equipment to make the gesture as commanding as it should be.

Overlooking your strangely sexist remarks in that last post
(I mean really - 'commanding'?) let me insist I have been framed by the zealous imaginings of Trillion who grossly misinterpreted my sincerest and kindest gesture - a trunkhug - a la Dumbo's mother. You had it right all along - don't listen to those who would think the worst. A positive attitude is the first step to peace and harmony.
Commanding - eh? Hmmm... I gotcha commanding right here.

How about the verb "Imo"? It is the essential form of such common expressions as "Imo blow your muddaf******g head off!" and "Imo screw your sistah."

I used "commanding" because anyone that resorts to that type of gesture obviously uses it to show they are endowed with superior arguing equipment, and they are trying to prove that they are in command of the situation. I've also never seen a woman do that gesture. Never.

And you do that "Igotcha ..." quite well, BTW ...

"Imo" ... I've never really heard that one used ... Of course I don't tend to run with crowds that say things like "Imo blow your muddaf******g head off!" And the correct pronunciation at the beginning of that word would be "mutha," as in: "Disiz my mutha, Moitul," or "Ya mutha weaz awmy bootz!" Ya jiggy widdat?