h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Opens one sleepy eye and winks at Sultandude*

Nice tale Pan. When do we get to the "juicy" and fit to be moderated bits then?

*ROFL*
"Yah Pan, when do we get the moderators attention?"

*Sneaks up behind Sultandude's behind and yanks his trousers down*

Hah! If that doesn't get their attention, nothing will!

*Runs for cover (behind Pan)*

Look - no duct tape!

"Shouldn't that have read 'TOWEL' instead of 'TROUSERS' Gwennie? Have you forgotten my standard attire? Towel, tan and nipple ring."

Can you blame a middle-aged old fart for forgetting something so trivial as to whether or not your wearing a towel!

*Tweaks Sultandude's nipple ring*

*tends fire

*Regards B17 with mischief filled eyes*

I don't know what you're looking so cheerful about young man! (You could be next you know!)

Ah, you have to catch me first, though Gwennie

*Sticks out one of her very large feet and trips a certain young B17 up who falls flat on his face in the barbeque, setting his hair alight*

Would you like me to throw some water over you now or perhaps you'd like to smoulder a little longer first?

* stumbles backwards out of the fire, tripping on Gwennies feet again and setting the hem of her dress alight, then falls into a handy puddle, left by the hose earlier, dousing the barnet bonfire.*
Ow. I've heard of a flaming head of hair but that is ridiculous. I used to be strawberry blond, but it looks like I'm Ash blond now. Nice Hotpants Gwennie

*Leaps into the puddle, creating a mini tidal wave*

I thought I'd join you...

More tea vicar?

Don't mind if I do

I'll be mother then...

*Pours out two steaming hot mugs of tea*

On lump or two?

Just milk thanks.

Foiled again! You knew I was going to thump you if you asked for lumps didn't you?

*Pours milk carefully whilst trying to think up a dastardly plot but for some reason her mind has gone completely blank and all she can think of is duct tape*

...it's the ESP...*Pan pounces on Gwennie...the two roll 'round & 'round...natch the guys ALL like this sort of thing...there's a ripping sound...more ripping...then a mumble...Pan stands victorious!!! * *steals a line from the Abyss* "Lady, this is something I've been wanting to do to you ever since the first time I laid eyes on you..." *rip...nice loooooong piece of duct tape over Gwennie's mouth...*didn't think ONE piece would hold"!

...sorry...*polks hole in duct tape over Gwennie's mouth...inserts long straw & sticks straw into pitcher of VT's* There...that'll hold her...HA! (I'm not completely heartless you know-wink)

*Thinks "Oh no! Not again!" and then thinks that'll be the last time she asks Pan to help her out in a fix and she certainly won't be returning any favours in the future (If she ever gets a chance to anyhow!)*

Slurp! Gulp! Slurp! Hic!

*Starts to relax and wonders whether Pan will remember to top up her *

*ROFL*
-ESP- "Don't worrry Gwennie when your VT runs out, we'll top it up if you behave yourself."

-THINKS-Hmmm this bondage thing is getting more and more interesting.

*wonders why his tea is spilt, and why he appears to be face down in the puddle. Then remembers Pan launching herself at Gwennie, and himself getting bowled over by the resulting riotous struggle. Goes to get cleaned up....*