h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

But you said to pay them peanuts!

Yes, but out of the profits..

Oh, i forgot.

The only ones i found were behind the bar

..which I was just "looking after" until the barman returns

it was my invisible 'friend' who tied the barman up!

is it because of the traffic that you are late? call that an excuess? oh, I'm in the rong place, my fault

I'm just a passenger who was late for his train of thought.

(Excuses for Zen students, number 17)

well I didn't tell you I was coming along because I thought you would "just know".

Sorry, I had sent my brain out to be washed.

I was `pruning the cat.

I didn't know that the cat had used up all of its 9 lives!

I blaime the steam roller.

It's the way I was brought up, blame my parents

The voices in my head told me too, and they were being so nice to me I couldn't refuse.

I saw it in a film so decided it was a good idea!

It was the song lyrics.

The voices said they won't stop until I'd delt' with Ms Moneypenny

I'd forgotten that the voices in my head were a walkman stereo!

ahh, the problem is this childhood incident, when a walkman was forced into his head through his ears