h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, we are 4 hours late for school, e but, we had to stop and help the police in their investigations, and you wouldn't want us to desert our morell obligations to help society by catching dangerous criminals, would you miss?

I think I was asleep that year.

Besides, by telling the police everything
we knew, we might be able to turn state's evidence
later on and avaoid a prison term.

You mean I wasn't supposed to do that??!

I accept it was me who knocked over the computer, but it can't be my fault, seeing as how the manager pushed me.

I'm only the boss, it's the employees who are messing things up.

When did they put a traffic light there?

I'm only an employee. It's the
clueless boss who's screwing things
up. But he's new, so what can you expect?

It looked like the road connected on the map.

I just wanted to know what the red button did. So I pushed it. And this is what happened. But it's not my fault at all.

How was I to know that TNT didn't stand for Turner Network Television?

Oops. I was looking at the wrong week on my calendar.

I'm color blind. The lights all look the same to me.

Can't have been me, you know, after all I don't exist.

I'm only on here to check my email. Really. I can quit any time I want.

I have multiple personality disorder. You want the personality that was here yesterday.

I'm a schizophrenic. I coulda sworn there was a bridge there.

The voices in my head told me to do it.

I have double vision.
How was I to know that the second
twin tower was really a parking lot?

There were only 37 cookies left in the box, so I figured I might as well finish them.