h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Because I don't know how to multipost.

Because I don't know how to multipost.

Because I'm off to play the guitar before the taxi arrives to take me to the doctors for a medical<!>

I'm eating so much because I haven't had any breakfast<!>

Because , banannas, and cabbage have all the nutrients needed to sustain life.

Because I have to be up at 6.15 tomorrow.

Because I just got up.

The told me to do it.

The face on the wall said it had to be done. I didn't want to but the face in the carpet agreed. I still didn't want to but the face in the ashes of the fireplace demanded. The voices joined in a mad chorus of screeching demand, burrowing into my skull like a spike. Only then did I brush my teeth.

Because it was tasty, I would have left some, but it was tasty, nothing I could do, you understand...

My father did and his father before him, so why shouldn't I?

Just because everyone else is doing it, why should I?

...well he finally *did* jump over a cliff and after much deliberation, so did I<!>

Well, you see, what happened was, whilst cleaning the laptop it fell into the bath, but when I took it to pieces I found that the warp core had melted, and whilst I had poped out to buy a new one, I suddenly remembered this poam, about a threadbare carpet, which distroyed my train of thought, and i accidently got on th e 11.34 to Kings Cross, now, officer, you have to realise that by the time I arrived I had entirely forgotten most of the algibra I lurnt at school, and because of the prevailing weather conditions at the temporal and spatial vacinity of myself, I was, in a matter of just-hold-this-biscuit-tin prematurly dropped into this pit of small stones, which was where, suddenly and without warning I realised my purpose in life was not only to buy replacement parts fro my laptop, but also to preach the words of the prodigal one to the ladies who work at several of the London train and tube stations, so you see, what you saw when you entered the passage way beside the burger king, wasn't what it may have appeared beyond the purely superfical, and, therefore in fact, I was religiously educating the young, well, very young lady concerned, and that no indescretion had, quite clarly occured, and if you would be good as to give me a few minutes of your time, I could explain, in a most indepth manner the basis for the religion of which I speak and how, and surely you will see; the importance of spreading the word to those most likely to benifit from its word, sympthey's and general all round loverlyness, and then, if I may be so bold, I would appreciate being dropped off at the nearest suppliers of warp drives, for my laptop you understand, no intention of building weapons of mass distruction, oh, the plutonium in my pocket?; No, I have no idea where that came from....

I'm only doing my job sir<!>

Oh you said, "don't". I must have missed that bit

I didn't realise you were a proper Police man <!>
I thought you were one of those stripper sorts <!>

Thats just my job at weekends<!> I only need one uniform that way for both jobs you see

Sorry, i didn't think it was a "real" gun <!>

I didn't think I had loaded it<!>