h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Self denial is an honourable trait
And one much mentioned of late
The season of Lent
should always be spent


Contemplating ones ulitmate fate








Resisting the urge to masturbate.

With an urge born of righteousness and virtue
I tried to give up naughty things, too
like chocolate and fudge
Success? - Well, not much
But at least I'm less likely to hurt you

It's Lent, we should be on retreat
Not thinking of nice things to eat
But if we are fed
On nothing but bread
I hope it will be short and sweet

With Lent I refuse to have truck.
Why should I break my good run of luck
By spending a while
In such self denial
By refusing myself a good...well you know...

If luck is your sole source of Nookie
you won't beat the odds as a Bookie
you'll just be one more
on the previous score
and might be the unlucky Cookie

As we ascent to the relationship apex,
We are plagued by the thoughts of safe sex,
Like pills and rubbers,
And calentrical blunders,
The thoughts of mistake, they do vex.

So we mess about in rhyme
Killing hours, wasting time
Whilst elsewhere 'neath a burning sun
A young man sits and clutches a gun
And a death knell starts to chime

A change to the norm
Refreshes the form--
Why not have long lines in the middle?
Meanwhile the East burns as we fiddle
To keep ourselves warm

this departure from normal is gross
it leads to feelings morose
good folk cannot change
what the masters arrange
you will perish before you come close

Though a stickler for tradition, I am
in awe of Recumbantman
A Limerick variation
For his own recreation
Is fine by me, despite strangeness of scan.

On column tall,
Up there, sat Paul
A saintly fellow who felt that his prayer
Would be carried high and long through the air
Like a bird call.

(4,4,10,10,4)

This thread is needing excised
of the madness of which it's comprised
Can't say I'm a fan
of adjustments to scan
they just leave my brain liquidised

Those who take our new form as a gimmick'll
Predictably find it inimical;
Perhaps a new thread*
Is called for instead:
Let's start one called "Each post a Rimickle"

*A1018568

That link isn't looking too great
I've managed, it seems, to create
A non-linking link
This should work, I think:
A1018568

RECUBENTMAN

I bet he's really called Davy
and created a Lake for the Navy
the air vented wellie
the Braille colour telly
and the best vegetarian gravy

Oh yes I've been there and done that
Bought the T-shirt, the pen and the hat
Cleared up epidemics
Put down academics
And grew everything except fat

In the online world in which we cohabit
All can exagerate or even stretch the truth a bit
If your curriculum vitae
says you mix with the mighty
Then who are we to heap scorn on it?

Sprout

Seems someone mistakes my intention
any insults perceived are invention
I am no nasty scorner
this is Limerick Corner
go where you will, no prevention.

Though some do think me the fuddy,
I'd rather do this then to study
The life cycles of ants
Or that ol' Reanancance
Though my report card is looking tad muddy.

may I re-kindle some fun with an old joke,
an even older story but with my treatment

From the Ball he walked home feeling randy
when he saw a large pumpkin, quite handy
cut a hole in the skin
and slipped a length in
saying "henceforth thy name shall be Mandy"

The Farmer out walking said "steady"
"your pumping away like our Neddy"
with crestfallen pride
he looked at his bride
saying "gawd, is it Midnight already?"