A Conversation for Haiku Challenge!!!

Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1561

chaiwallah


The sun by any
other name would burn as hot.
I'd still get freckles.

nt: the new moon


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1562

Mal

The new moon watches
an eye in the sky; waiting,
too, in the morning
(although what for I
daren't think, and I still hurry
on out of its gaze)

NT: Ripples
[PS, Chai: Can haikus be 575575, like mine? Or can they only be 575?]


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1563

chaiwallah


Re:PS. No, Mal, they can only be 5/7/5. But on this thread consecutive haikus are not unknown.

Why is it ripples
In ice-cream promise so much
And taste so awful?

nt: Bounty Bars


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1564

Pinniped


Confectionery?
Sold by glistening beach-bods?
I just eat them up.

nt : fantasising about the Flake-girl

(hope you don't mind an interloper, guys)


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1565

Mal

Am I just too young
to know who the epithet
"Flake" refers to? Who?

NT: I'll pass this same one to Chai or whoever's still hanging around while I pop off to Google, probably to read about some old Flake adverts. Vesperal salutations, Pin!


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1566

chaiwallah


When it came to licks,
Only the crumbliest flakes
Scattered like lust motes.

nt: Head and Shoulders


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1567

Mal

Trademark oozes then
lathered up around
your Head & Shoulders

(I was going to leave this one for someone else cos I didn't have nuffin' to say- but they're all dead.)
NT: Anything! Somebody, anybody!


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1568

chaiwallah


Dear Mac, gentle reminder, western haiku goes 5/7/5 syllables.

The voice of despair
Echoes in this empty thread.
What pair? Somebody?

nt: vile puns


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1569

Mal

Sorry, Chai. I was tired and ill but I was desperate to put SOME life back into this ol' thread.
I'll give someone else a chance to do this one.
And why can't we do Eastern haiku? I mean, apart from the actual impossibility...smiley - biggrin


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1570

chaiwallah


Hi Mac,

Apologies again for being, as usual, a pedantric old fart. Eastern haiku? Specifically shinto/Buddhist inspired authentic Japanese style?
That's a pretty tall order. No reason at all why you can't do it, if you're up to it. But it's generally a vehicle for expressing either paradoxical, mystical Zen-type insights, or other similar reflections on the transient and illusory nature of perceived existence.

The Japanese conventions are, I understand, fairly strict. There should be seventeen syllables, disposed 5/7/5. Two lines can be continuous, but one must stand alone. There should be a seasonal or natural-world reference. There should be a "surprise" in the way of insight or observation.

If you can do all that, good on ya, sport.

Cheers,
Chaiwallah.

nt still: vile puns!................any takers?


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1571

Wayfarer-- I only wish I were crackly

Of lame and vile puns,
only vile ones are worthwhile
to the connoisseur.

nt: wine tasting, since that last word brings it to mind.


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1572

chaiwallah


( Two for the price of one...)

The colour, the smell,
The taste, the finish. Aaaah bliss.
It's cheap! From Chile?

Brick red, flowers,
Blackberries and black pepper.
An Ozzie shiraz!

nt: loo paper


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1573

killerbunny

they never refill
the damn loo paper, oh why
do i share a house?

the men are the worst
it's the same with kitchen roll
rant over now, bye

k -x-

nt: pit ponies


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1574

Mal

Why oh why oh WHY
does everyone keep coming
up with subjects that
I don't know about,
don't understand, or just have
nothing to say for?


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1575

chaiwallah


Are not pit ponies
A thing of the past these days?
Greed makes man cruel.

nt: teaspoons


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1576

Wayfarer-- I only wish I were crackly

A teaspoon of salt
I should have added, not a
tablespoon. Biscuit...?

[holds one out]

nt: a specific mistake


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1577

Mal

agreement stokes the
embers of
our conversation

(not meant to be
a western style
any more)


Haiku Challenge!!!!

Post 1578

Mal

Perhaps we should try,
reinserting some life,
making a renga?

"In Japan in the 15th century, a poetic form named "renga" blossomed.

Renga is a poem several poets create cooperatively. Members alternately add verses of 17 syllables (5, 7, and 5 syllables) and those of 14 syllables (7 and 7 syllables), until they complete a poem generally composed of 100 verses."


Haiku Challenge!!!!Renga

Post 1579

chaiwallah

Interesting idea, Mal, but bearing in mind the awful fate of those who were sucked into the balladdiction of Grimley Moer, I'd be reluctant to join another co-operative poem chain.

So, reluctant shmeluctant, why not?


Maybe we should conclude with a reminder of the next verse structure, so that instead of putting "nt..........." and a new topic for a haiku, we should write "nv ( for next verse ) 14/17" ( for the number of permitted syllables). But, one question, do the 14 and 17 syllable verses invariably alternate? I guess we can be flexible ( as with western haiku ) so that the same person isn't always stuck on 17 or 14 syllables.

Here goes......
__________________________________________________________________

RENGA..."Parting."

The vast sunset rolls
Over my sad heart, leaving
No more room for tears.

(nv 14 )


Haiku Challenge!!!!Renga

Post 1580

R. Daneel Olivaw -- (User 201118) (Member FFFF, ARS, and DOS) ( -O- )

Or we could have an odd number of people:


Renga Verse 2:

The dark night falls upon the
Vast plain of my endless grief.



(Next verse 17)


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