h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Jeremy

Congrats to the already sainted

who's the next one??

*waves at Saint Kasia and Saint Jeremy while escorting Inkwash, wearing a beautiful blue dress, to the podium*

*waves paw at Jeremy & Kasia*
~accepts Grappa & tries to take a swig, but can't due tohead~

Probably just as well, don't wanna getduring the ceremony

Wow! Inkwash lokks just gorgeous in that gown! Blue suits her prefectly

Jeremy, any chance for a Grappa??

Inkwash!
How positively sexy you look in your bluegown!

Oo-er, sorry, I almost forgot I was the Easterfor a second.
underneath this hot outfit!
~Inkwash kneels andpaw~

Phew! Hot in here, innit?

~wields sword~
Inkwash, I hereby pronounce you to be called Saint Necessarily-So, the Patron Saint of Two-legged felines.
A pair of furry wings appear from Inkwash's back, and a furry halo appears above his head...
In the audience of assembled Saints, nim the cat, in female form, faints.

Seven of Nine, will you please go pick up nim?
There must be a spare sofa somewhere...

*starts escorting Lady Elly to the podium*

*Lady Elly, however, steps on the wrong foot, looses her balance, stands wavering on one foot, and falls over...*

*...the still sleeping Saint Ottox*

Lady Elly... Lady Elly? Lady Elly! *grabs Lady Elly's arm and gently but firmly pulls her to her feet*

Not now, there will be time for that later...

*Lady Elly very reluctantly allows herself to be lead towards podium, while looking back at Ottox*

hops forwards and helps Lady Elly to kneel down at the podium.
~swings sword~
Lady Elly, I hereby pronounce you the Patron Saint of the Wrong Foot.
~a pair of small, delicate wings sprout from Lady Elly's back, unfortunately the wrong way round....

Saint Titania, would you please use yourto take care of that little, er, problem?
~hands over a smaller than average halo, to be placed later, after repairs are done~

Where ~have~ all these sheep come from?

Uups! it seems to be a very well choosen Patron Saint

Congrats, Lady Elly..

*Kasia looks at Ottox*
Oh my dear! How long can a man sleep, among all of this fanfares and such??

*struggling to get through the herd of sheep, escorting Taffy Boy to the podium*

Lady Elly, come over here... let's see what we can do about your wings...

*takes Lady Elly's halo in one hand, attempting to adjust wings with other hand*

Taffy Boy kneels at the podium.

~lifts sword~
I hereby pronounce you the Patron Saint of Annoying Welsh Sheep...


Saint Titania, please would you hurry and take Saint Taffy Boy somewhere....else?
The Bar, perhaps?
What?
He's not old enough to drink?
Then give him to Clelba and Hezher, let them feed him
But PLEASE get these sheep out of here!

Kasia, Jeremy - will you help me to get all these sheep out?

*leads Taffy Boy into adjoining hall for some hoping that the sheep will follow, but being annoying, they probably won't*

A figure in flowing Vulcan robes appears

Seven of Nine looks impressed....


~looks around for Spock~
Oh, please step forward, The Great Luna!
Are you alright kneeling, sir?
~hops off to get another silken cushion~
Would you like anything else, sir?

*returning from adjoining hall, trying to push some of the still remaining sheep out the door*



*escorts The Great Luna to podium*

Nice robes... I like the way they flow.. who's your tailor?

Yay!

*Kasia looks surprised from the floor*

What the... is this??? sheeps???

Uff! they think I'm also one, hehe) hey! do not come closer you hear!!!

*Kasia runs and jumps on one of the sofas to protect herself*

I'm a bunyy not a sheep! Stay away!!
Heelp!

No?
~hops back to podium~
~picks up sword~
~gently touches The Great Luna's shoulders~
The Great Luna, it is my honour indeed, to give you the title of Patron Saint of Sci-fi Fans...
A pair of transparent alumini wings appear on the back of the Vulcan robes; and an anti-matter-halo hovers over Luna's head.
Live long and prosper!!!!!

*getting REALLY tired of the annoying sheep*

Booo!

*in panic, the sheep run off into adjoining hall, running down the poor Saint Jeremy, who's been trying to patiently push them away*

*Kasia jumps back on the floor and throws out the rests of the sheeps*

Seven of Nine, will you please come and help the other Angels get rid of these sheep, and stop looking at Luna!
Thank you!
Now, is there anyone else?
~looks at the Golden Book~
Aha!

~jumps up and down & hops about the podium in excitement~
~drums roll~