h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: David Beckham’s Red Card, St Etienne 1998 - A46545410
Author: Trout Montague - U188966

Hung drawn and quartered!

Oh, I remember it well... Reading this brought back a lot of memories - few of them particularly edifying. Thanks for that

I spotted one typo: immedeiately

Thoroughly enjoyable, in a masochistic sort of way!

*ahem*

"At Italia ’905 Stuart Pearce’s penalty was saved while Chris Waddle shot over the bar. Then at Euro ’966 Gareth Southgate put the ball wide of the post. And it was at St. Etienne in 1998 that David Batty’s poorly taken chest-high effort was easily knocked down by a jubilant Carlos Roa."

You missed out the fact that bottler Ince's pisspoor penalty was even worse than Batts' effort - and I can't believe that when you mention Batty and Waddle it's Mr. Batty's penalty that gets marked down as "poor".

This comment was paid for in part by the David Batty fan club.

If I remember rightly, that penalty by David Batty was the first he had ever taken. I can't comment as to whether it was also the last...

First, last and only.

>>His words may have been in jest but not to far away in South Norwood a sack in a sarong was hanging by a noose outside the Pleasant Pheasant pub.<<


= but not too far away


I would also suggest breaking up that sentence with a comma or two.


A nice read, I remember the incident well

Ms GB

Yes, well written. I enjoyed reading this all the way through - and I'm a non-fan of football

I am afraid I foung this extremely well written, but monumentally boring - but then, I don't like soccer, and the overall effect of this lyrical discussion to an outsider is like being stuck in a room full of foreign speakers who are deliberately excluding you from the conversation by speaking a language you don't know.

This is not a criticism of the writing, merely an observation. I saw an old film recently in which Howard Cosell, an American sports announcer, was nattering on to the same effect about US football.

The only two things I spotted possibly worth mentioning are:

four-year-long (or four-year??) intervals?

"Stand up if you hate Man U", indeed. (I think a comma would be good there.)

Trout ya bugga.

Although I do agree with dmitri, football bores me to tears

Typos flagged in posts 2, 6 and 9 are corrected.

On posts 3-5 regarding David Batty, I concede that Ince has a right to wear some of the penalty flak. My thinking 'til now, for what it is worth, on focussing on the Batty effort was that it was the moment that saw England eliminated from France '98, which is crucial to the subject. Waddle/Pearce/Southgate are just gloss. Meanwhile, it has been pointed out to me in RL that commentator Kevin Keegan had just said something like "If there was one person I would like to see taking a penalty when we really need a goal it's David Batty, he's a cert!". Anyway, I'll give Ince some thought.

To posts 9 and 10 insofar as they relate to the boring subject matter, I'm sorry.

This reads well, and there was quite a lot which I didn't know before. However, you'll have to reword the following:

On that same sultry European summer night, 30 June 1998, Frenchman Eric Fraschet-Lentin was stabbed to death by an England supporter while on a train from Grenoble to Paris, apparently mistaken for an Argentine fan. His death was the only football-related fatality of France ’98.

Maybe it was as far as English fans were concerned, but, sad to say, it wasn't for the whole tournament. German hooligans nearly beat a French policemen to death.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/332356.stm

This is a well written Entry you have here

There's just a few nitpicks that I've noted

First I'd like to draw your attention to English Usage in Guide Entries A266131. I find this would be of help to you not only with numbers e.g. in the Entry you write 'eleven' instead of 11 but 'twelve' should be 12 but it has useful info on other things too.

Subheaders should be headers

Only use single quotation marks when quoting or highlighting a word

Newspapers should be italicised thus 'The Mirror' becomes The Mirror

You are doing well and are sure to score amongst the sporting lot on h2g2 with this number

Loved this

You've raised the bar for the standard of football-related entries. Fantastic job.

Icy

High enough that even Beckham and Waddle could get a penalty underneath it, you reckon?

(And I'll have a look at that errant styling shortly.)

> The next time these two teams meet, someone might remind the players at least, that when all is said and done, it really is just a game.

... you do then go on to talk about the next time these two teams met (Japorea 2002), when I can't remember any trouble that occurred. Perhaps because England won, I suppose. All I remember about that match apart from the penalty was that Argentina had the ball most of the second half but somehow failed to make any clearcut chances at all.

About the penalty shoot-outs - Gareth Southgate's penalty was saved at Euro 96, and you should mention Paul Ince's miss in this game too. Am I right in thinking England have still only won one shoot-out at a major finals? (Spain, quarter-finals at Euro 96)

I like the stuff about tripping over thin air - Michael Owen really knows how to win a penalty...

Try that then. Ince's effort was obviously so crap that's it's taken the wind out of the paragraph.

This is beautifully written.

But I'm not a soccer fan and I'm afraid it hasn't made the subject seem exciting.

Great capture of the hoohah and hyperbole!

Sarong-wearing tall poppy has me baffled.

You've used "teenage sensation" twice when describing Owen (though it might be amusing to preface his every mention thusly!)

I'm not particularly interested in football, but I enjoyed this and I didn't find it inaccessible. I remember the incident, I remember thinking 'idiot', and it was nice to have it put into context beyond that.

Mind you, it's not that often I have to get the dictionary out that often.

I think the thing about the sarong, btw, probably refers to the mini sensatoin Beckham caused when he wore a sarong on holiday. Not very manly and all that.

Deary me. That displays more knowledge of the inside of scandal rags than I ever hoped to give away.