h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here presides that wonderful asteroid. Preliminary works now completed and not paid for, she rests and weeps.

As you are well aware the terraces are completely overgrown and I am presently hacking my way toward the lake to get some sense of the layout of the original estate. My question to you is, would you be interested in any hollies, or other interesting boughs? Nothing I have found so far is natural, that is to say, the overgrowth comes from cultured shrubs, hedges, flowers and trees that have gone wild in the past century or so. I am essentially cutting a straight path and, having gone less than fifty feet, have already encountered several evergreen berry bushes which appear to be variants of holly. Someone with more botanical knowledge could be helpful but I thought you might be able to utilise (in keeping with the season) what I've already hacked off. They are in a large pile behind the Jaguar. I plan on burning the rest of the brush and am stockpiling the bigger bits for the Snug fire but it will be quite some time before these are dry enuff.

Wow, this is very impressive indeed. At this rate you will reach the lake before the end of the real (Pedants) Milennium. Now, if we could send out a search party to the attics and cellars it may be we could discover some plans. I mean, if this Capability chap really was capable and organised, he may have left a record somewhere. The holly, rhododendrons etc. just grow like weeds. Hey, and what if there were some pineapples. I do like pineapples.

Just one small thing. This Sub-committee has the word Interior in its title. Whilst I have a vast admiration for the lovely ateroid's talents, I think they are mostly confined to indoor activities, though you may find her languishing langourously on your nice new Terrace from time to time, especially if Pimms is involved.

Some chicks know how to take holly bows (boughs) and twist them all up nice into garlands and wreaths and even a bunting like thingy that might look good on the bar, as long as Munchkin doesn't eat the berries.

And which Pedant should inquire of to get a true reading on time? As far as I know the Age of Aquariuus started back around 1967. I had Hair then...

Pimms? Honest in-gin?

I hate to think what will happen when Lil gets hold of your boughs. Beautiful she may be, merciful she is not!

I fail to understand why putting up some festive desecrations would be such a thorny issue.

Is there any mistletoe there or do I have to buy some plastic stuff in the market this evening?

Beware of all this festive kissing business. It leads to all sorts of unsavoury activities.

Perhaps you would like to investigate this small dark cupboard with me? Its where all the mistletoe is kept.(He lied blatently)

*Is so overcome at the thought of someone holding the door open ....*
(temporarily[probably] rendered speechless)

**Guides into cupboard with hand on small of back. Closes door. Total darkness.**

Oh look, there a bunch of mistletoe right over your head!

Excuse me all. Anybody seen my rake. Ah, Peroneous I see your cement thingy is being well received. Carry on.

So how come we went in the cupboard here, and fell out into the snug??? I'm very confused. There was always something about geography I didn't understand.

It's that time/space warp thing you are on record as dismissing as claptrap. I hope you are ready now to entertain the 'possibilities'...
They said they might drop in.

You mean (gasp!!) weare not alone??

**Trembles at the enormity of the thought**

Tremble not my friend. There is more to be feared in politics and religion.

- still unable to figger out how Duncan got into the closet - unless...Wandrin's excitement about door holding...perhaps..yes.. Isadora Duncan! - best not suggest that to others at this juncture tho - still too trembly for real time/space travails -

So, P., cement is your life then?

It soon will be.

DJ has an agenda of his own. Better not to pry too deeply, it may well, as you suggest, involve long silk scarves.

Yes we find ourselves at that criticasl juncture where others who follow will soon decide if this conversation is worth turning the page...
I leave the 20th posting to the bravest among you...
Merry xmas.

Well, it seems a pretty daft Sub-committee if the chair herself prefers haranguing would-be helpers elsewhere!